Mother Lover

I keep meaning to post this. You know the Justin Timberlake/Andy Samburg "Mother Lover" SNL skit? At the beginning of it they walk out of the jail that's in my neighborhood! The same jail I wrote about in Save Karyn. In fact, I'm pretty sure the whole skit was taped in the 'hood.

Here's a pic that I took this morning.

Okay, that's all!

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Joe Jackson

Here's the reason Michael Jackson was so screwed up.



Joe Jackson on the red carpet at the BET Awards two days after his son died talking about his new record company.

Daily Tweet Roundup

Me, today:

• Finished Eclipse. Definitely the best of the first 3. Now I'm in a coma from not sleeping well the past few nights. Need Diet Coke. #
• Wondering if it's really necessary to put on a bra to go to the corner store. #
• Packing to go to Chicago for a week. What to bring, what to bring... I have a real issue with packing light. #
• I don't like Weeds this season. Except Uncle Andy. I'll always love Uncle Andy. #

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Daily Tweet Roundup

Me, today:

• Re: Twilight series. When are they going to have vampire sex? I mean, it's 4:30AM & I need to go to sleep. Have vampire sex already. Please. #
• Have you ever closed a laptop on your nipple? It doesn't feel so good. (I was lying down and using it; it was resting on my belly.) #

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I'm Officially Thirteen Again

Not only am I reading the Twilight series (I'm on Eclipse right now) and loving every minute of it, but I was browsing the magazine aisle at the grocery store yesterday when my sister looked over at me and was like, "Are you reading Tiger Beat?"

I was.

(There were glossy pictures of Robert Pattinson inside—shut up!)

iTunes Charts

iTunes bestsellers right now... nine of the top ten songs and albums are by Michael Jackson.



Actually, if you click through to view the top 100 songs, about 40 of them are by MJ as well.

Angel

So sad. RIP Farrah.

Daily Tweet Roundup

Me, today:

• New Moon. Page 336. I've figured out what's going to happen. And the foreshadowing with R&J Don't say a word til I finish! And yes, it's 3am #
• Sometimes I call my niece "Babe" and sometimes I call her "Boo." I just combined the two and accidentally called her "Boob." #
• My niece just pointed to a couple of freckles on my arm and goes, "KK, are those nipples?" #

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Mama say, mama sa, mama coo za

RIP MJ.

Daily Tweet Roundup

Me, today:

• Dear Stumped in Texas: No, I'm not the redhead in the Peg Egg commercial. My husband isn't in it either. Thanks for asking! #
• If I blow dry my hair in the kitchen I can leave the AC on w/o blowing a fuse. Considering the bathtub's in the kitchen, I'm fine with this. #
• I just met w/Justine to become a Gap Brand Enthusiast and she took me shopping and gave me free clothes! Justine is my sugarmama. I luv Gap. #
• I wish my gym had doggie daycare so I could bring Bev. She'd really like the wak to and fro. #
• Twilight: I've suffered through the first 167 pages of New Moon; hope it's going to get better soon. #

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Daily Tweet Roundup

Me, today:

• Tonight is the first annual Boerum Hill Pub Walk for all my Brooklyn neighborhoodies reading this! Deets here: tinyurl.com/n3elav #
• Why oh why have all the Brooklyn subway trains stopped working? #
• Just beat 15 people to a cab. I rule. #
• Just saw Away We Go with @districtbelle. Delightful, amazing soundtrack, I heart Dave Eggers. #

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Awesome Writer Chicks

I keep meaning to blog about this. Last week the hilarious Jen Lancaster came to town and invited me out for drinks. She was at Buddakan with a bunch of lovely lady writers and I went and had an amazing time. Everyone was so nice and I actually ended up staying out until 3 AM with two of them (McCandless and Siana are nothing but trouble...) We somehow ended up in the penthouse of the Hotel Gansevoort with a couple of British footballers who also happen to buy racehorses. I don't know... maybe it'll end up in a book someday.

Anywho, here's a list of everyone who was there that evening along with the books they've written:

Jen Lancaster

• Bitter is the New Black
• Bright Lights, Big Ass
• Such a Pretty Fat
• Pretty in Plaid

Sarah Grace McCandless

• Grosse Pointe Girl: Tales from a Suburban Adolescence
• The Girl I Wanted to Be: A Novel

Jolene Siana

• Go Ask Ogre: Letters from a Deathrock Cutter

Tatiana Boncompagni

• Gilding Lily
• Hedge Fund Wives

Stacey Ballis

• Inappropriate Men
• Sleeping Over
• Room For Improvement
• The Spinster Sisters

I now have a big reading list for summer. Please check out their books!

Boerum Hill Pub Walk

I'm so sad that I can't go to this, but for all my neighborhoodies reading, tonight is the Boerum Hill Association's first annual Boerum Hill Pub Walk.

Modeled after "Original London" Pub Walks, this pub walk will follow a trail highlighting Boerum Hill's role in history, from key revolutionary war battles to the home of Mohawk Indian steelworkers, all centered around short pit stops at 3 history-laden local pubs along the route - the Brazen Head, the Brooklyn Inn, and Hanks Saloon.

Tickets are a mere $10, but do not include drinks (some pubs have promised you all special discounts.) Walk begins at 7:30 PM sharp, and is limited to 20 participants. Meet outside Trader Joe's at SW corner of Court & Atlantic.

Board member and tour organizer Chuck Wells said:

These Pub Walks are going to be a fun way to discover (or rediscover) Boerum Hill as a small group taking a relaxed walk. If there's strong interest we can always add more dates to accommodate more people. And for later in the year, we're planning a second Pub Walk to focus on the history of haunted spots in the neighborhood. If nothing else, it'll be a great way to meet neighbors and soak up the amazing history of our little part of Brooklyn."

So anyway, so sad I can't go, but next time I'm in!

1:00 AM iChat

This is what a pretty typical 1:00 AM iChat with Mark looks like:



I'm rambling on and on about how cute Beverly is (her new nickname is Tender Buttons) and he's left the chat and has gone into another room to do something else.

Daily Tweet Roundup

Me, today:

• Going to Target to buy underwear and a Barbie doll. #

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10 Pounds

I've lost ten pounds, everybody! Yay! And two inches everywhere! Yay! I measured myself before I started my diet and I'm now two inches smaller on my thighs, waist, booty, etc. Woo hoo!

Anywho, I'm starting the fourth week of my diet today. My friend Patty lost 15 pounds when she was this far in, but everybody's different, I guess. Here are my notes so far:

I joined a really nice gym (Equinox) but I still hate working out. I've been mixing it up with different kinds of cardio, alternating between the treadmill, bike, and elliptical, but I still hate it. I'm going to take some classes this week because I hear they're good at Equinox. Also, I could do three push-ups when I started and I've been adding one a week, so now I can do six. This week I'm going for seven. I'm going to be so strong!

Two funny things about the gym... people wear weird things when they work out. Yesterday some dude was wearing a winter hat while running on a treadmill. Um, why? And the other day a woman had on pantyhose and shorts. Not dancing tights or leggings— but control-top pantyhose. And they were black, which made it worse. I've also identified the gym hussy. Yesterday she was humping a wall (pelvic thrusts, whatever) and every man in the place was staring at her. I was, too, but only because I was taking mental notes on just how ridiculous she looked. Thank God there wasn't a stripper pole around.

Okay, about my mid-morning snack of almonds: I've been jazzing it up a bit and also eating macadamia nuts and seeds (sunflower and pumpkin mix.) Macadamia nuts are on the South Beach Diet and that Gwyneth Paltrow cleanse included seeds, so they're probably all just as good for me.

For my after-dinner snack, I've been freezing a cup of soy milk in ice cube trays and then blending them with a cup of blueberries for something cool.

Larabars: The Pecan Pie one is also delicious and I've been dying to try the Cocoa Mole one but I can't find it anywhere. Has anyone had it? What are your favorites?

Also, since I've been on this diet I've been in situations that haven't exactly been diet-friendly. I went to a Mets game but didn't eat anything there. Instead I brought almonds and bag of cherries. I also went out for Mexican one night and ended up getting chicken tacos (chicken was grilled) and one margarita. After a year of not eating meat, I've started to eat chicken again simply because I need more lean protein. Sorry, chickens—I try to keep eating you to a minimum and still eat a lot of fish and tofu. My point is that I'm not going to stop living because I'm on a diet. It takes planning and self-control, but so far so good. I worked out a little harder after my Mexican outing and I still lost weight.

Anyone else have success? Tell me!

Perez Hilton Is So Gross

Violence is never the answer, but I kind of feel like Perez Hilton had this coming.

Perez Hilton says he was punched by Peas' manager

Hilton, who is openly gay, said in interview with The Associated Press that he called will.i.am a "f*ggot," a gay slur, inside the club after the musician told the blogger not to write about his band on his Web site.

"He was like 'You need to respect me.' He was in my face. He was obviously trying to intimidate me and scare me," Hilton said. "I was like 'I don't need to respect you. I don't respect you and I did say this, and I knew that it would be the worst thing I could possibly say to him because he was acting the way he was. I said 'You know what, I don't respect you and you're gay and stop being such a f*ggot.'"

Now, you see, if someone called him a f*ggot, he'd be up in arms and it would be all over his blog... but it's okay for him to call someone else a f*ggot? He's a hypocrite.

And I'm sorry, but he should respect will.i.am—he's not just a pop star, but also a philanthropist who's done more for this world than Perez Hilton ever has or will. His political advocacy aside, he's supported Mercy Corps which aids Hurricane Katrina victims, the Common Ground Foundation which helps disadvantaged kids, and also has the Black Eyed Peas Foundation.

And this has always bothered me... Perez Hilton taking two seconds out of his day to write "Please donate to this worthwhile cause..." yada yada on his website just doesn't cut it. He puts tons of energy into writing posts that rip people apart, and zero energy into writing posts that highlight worthy causes. It's a joke that he even lists them. Loser.

Daily Tweet Roundup

Me, today:

• Twilight: I have 3 chaps left but need 2 workout bf the gym closes! I'm buying New Moon on the way. I'd like to marry a vampire like Edward. #

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Daily Tweet Roundup

Me, today:

• Just watched "He's Just Not That Into You." It made me really angry for some reason. Hmph. #
• Girl to boyfriend at BookCourt: Chris, we need to talk. What are you going to do to get rich? Bf: I told you, I'm writing my romance novel. #
• Should I tell them writing romance novels will not make him rich? #
• How is it that I can be so afraid of a moth in my apartment? I mean, he's flying at my head, but still. #

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Daily Tweet Roundup

Me, today:

• Twilight: I'm on p88 and it just got good. But do I think this bc I imagine Foxy Pattinson as Edward? Did peeps like it as much bf the film? #
• Just got back from the gym & I can do 6 push-ups now. Yes, you heard me, I said 6. Don't mess w/me or I will beat you with my medicine ball. #

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New Facebook Friend

My dad just requested to be my friend on Facebook. The best part is that his profile picture is sideways.



This is going to be fun.

UPDATE: He fixed it. All by himself. Yay, Dad!

Daily Tweet Roundup

Me, today:

• Awake. Nightmares. Scared. I hate waking up with your heart on the floor because you think something terrible has happened. #
• I bought a sweet water Method aroma pill and now my apartment smells like a scented maxi-pad. Perhaps vanilla apple would be better. #

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Bev's Television Debut!

Her closeup is 5:10 in!



A screen grab of her close-up:



And her close proximity to Regis:




UPDATE: Here's my Flickr photo album of her big day:

Bev & Klaus on LIVE! with Regis and Kelly

Tune In

Remember to tune in and watch LIVE! with Regis and Kelly today (Wednesday 6/17) to see Beverly!

Click here for local listings.



I bedazzled a collar for her and made these two bows:





I think the yellow one is the one she'll wear.

She's going to be on with her boyfriend Klaus.

Bev's New Haircut

Only slightly uneven.

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UPDATE: From Mark regarding her television debut...

He's a hater.

Beverly on LIVE! with Regis and Kelly

Beverly's going to be on LIVE! with Regis and Kelly tomorrow morning! Set your DVRs!

I don't know the details of her appearance but she's been primping for it all day and actually has curlers in her hair right now. Elvis has been taunting her and telling her false things like, "People like it when you pee on them, Beverly," and "People like it when you get nervous and take a dump during the middle of live national television broadcast, Beverly." I told her not to listen to him.

Also, she's been on the computer all day, Googling pictures of Regis.







I think someone has a crush.

Sigg Bottle

I finally broke down and got a Sigg bottle. I'm saving the earth and my body! When Julia Roberts was on Oprah about a year ago she said that plastic water bottles can leach harmful chemicals into your body. So don't use them or reuse them!

So here's my million dollar idea... You know how some grocery stores have a big fountain where you can refill ginormous jugs of water? Someone needs to make one of those for corner stores and delis. So when I'm out and I'm thirsty I can just pop in and refill my Sigg bottle instead of having to buy a plastic bottle of water. They can charge slightly less than what they would for a bottle of water.

I love my Sigg bottle. This is what mine looks like:



I'm going to buy one for my mom. She's really into hating plastic.

Scarpetta

I need to add one more thing to my list of unforgettable meals in New York City: The creamy polenta fricassee of truffled mushrooms at Scarpetta. (Creamy polenta with truffle mushrooms.)

I dined at Scarpetta about a month ago I can't adequately describe how delicious this appetizer was. Everything I ate was amazing, actually, but this appetizer... mamma mia was it good.

Sprinkles Necklace

I stumbled across this necklace. Isn't it cute?



What a great gift for a little girl who love sprinkles. (Or an adult who still loves them!)

Super Sprinkles Heart Necklace $16 via Shanalogic.com

Kanye West

I could have been a poet but I chose the tool of hip-hop to get my message across because it was the loudest."

— Kanye West in Essence

I love this quote for some reason.

Daily Tweet Roundup

Me, today:

• #iremember when I was little my dad would bring a small transistor radio to Cubs games at Wrigley Field to listen to the commentary. #
• twitpic.com/7cvfr - Please... even my 90-year-old grandma knew this was coming. #byebyeanalog #
• My legs are covered in bruises. I don't know how I got them. There are 3 on my right leg and 2 on my left. I'm happy I shared that with you. #

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Bev's Haircut

Beverly got a haircut. She trembled, panted and farted the whole time. I'm guessing she lost at least five pounds from all that hair.

She's hiding under the bed now. I'm pretty sure she hates me.

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I'm Glowing

I have a diet update.

I haven't weighed myself to see how much weight I've lost this week yet, but my skin is glowing. I think it's because of all the vegetables I'm eating, water I'm drinking, and working out I'm doing. My pores are smaller, my cheeks are rosy—even the texture is different... it's softer.

Yay for being healthy! It's pretty!

Daily Tweet Roundup

Me, today:

• Just walked by a man masturbating on the sidewalk. I mean, seriously? Couldn't he have found somewhere a little more private? A stairwell? #

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Twilight

Breaking down, buying Twilight. (At my favorite independent bookstore, BookCourt!)

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Nurse Jackie

Did anyone else watch Nurse Jackie last week on Showtime? It was so. good. I was hooked from the first episode which is kind of odd because pilots are almost never that good. Jackie's such a complex character and Edie Falco is an amazing actress—I can't wait to see what happens next. Also, I loved Dr. Cooper "Call me Coop" played by Peter Facinelli.



PS - I almost forgot! Haaz Sleiman is in it, too! He was in the movie The Visitor and is a total fox.

Daily Tweet Roundup

Me, today:

• Do feet get bigger as you get older? I've officially gone up a 1/2 shoe size from 6-1/2 to 7. #

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Beverly

I smother my dog. I do. I force her to cuddle with me when all she wants to do is nap alone. And then I ask her things like, "Am I your best friend?" even though I know she can't answer. If she kisses me that means yes. If she doesn't, well then I just keep asking until she does.

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Greatest. Picture. Ever.

My old roommate Scott is a segment producer for Regis & Kelly. This morning he produced the one and only Betty White on the show, and then this evening he went to a special screening of the movie "The Proposal" where he became part of the greatest. picture. ever.



That's Scott in the plaid shirt right next to Betty. (Isn't he cute?) I would die to have a picture like this with Betty.

Daily Tweet Roundup

Me, today:

• Remember how cool George Michael was before he became creepy? bit.ly/xaVAz I was just thinking about that. #
• I'm explaining to my friends how to use Twitter. Please reply to me. Also, can someone send me a Direct Message? #
• Okay, lesson's over. Thank you everyone! #

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Daily Tweet Roundup

Me, today:

• It's raining outside and it sounds just like one of those sound machines. #
• Eavesdropping on the train & writing down an entire convo that's happening in front of me word-for-word. 2 uneducated peeps, it's hilarious. #
• I'm going to the Mets game with @CrabappleNYC ! Thank you Sam! I've never been to a Mets game. I need a hat. And some chew. #
• I bought my hat! Coo ca choo! I'm having so much fun that I might even buy a foam finger. #

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Learning Leaders

I'm volunteering this summer! I'm going to tutor New York City public school kids.

The organization I'm going through to do this is called Learning Leaders. I have my first session of training this afternoon and then I have one more on Thursday. It's kind of a process... I had to submit an application, give references, go for an interview, have a criminal background check, and now the training. But they have to be safe, I'm sure! They just can't let any bozo into the schools. (Which makes me wonder, how did I get in?)

Anywho, I'm going to be tutoring elementary school kids in summer school for the next few months. I'm so excited. I'll keep you posted as to how it goes.

PS - If you have a flexible schedule and live in New York, you should volunteer, too!

Best Wedding Cards

I just ordered three of each of these cards. (I have a lot of weddings this year.)




"You must be so excited you are getting married and that you found true love. Maybe if I wasn't so easy I could get married too." (Shop Grun)






"I'm so happy you're getting married I'm not even jealous. Except for at night when I'm in my closet eating ice cream. Alone." (Shop at Moxie)

Laura Ling and Euna Lee

I've been following the Laura Ling and Euna Lee story for a few weeks now and find it so upsetting. I adore Lisa Ling and my heart breaks for her and her family. Ditto for Euna Lee's famil—especially her four-year-old daughter.


Lisa Ling and Laura Ling


Euna Lee and her daughter

In case you haven't been following the story, Ling and Lee were detained by North Korea for illegally entering the country and "hostile acts" while working on a story near the North Korea/China border for Al Gore's citizen-powered media outlet, Current TV. They were found guilty and sentenced to 12 years in a North Korean labor camp.

Conditions at these labor camps are supposedly horrid. According to a recent story from Al Jazeera...

Deeply secretive North Korea does not publish any details of the camps or the detainees held in them, but accounts from former inmates and guards who have defected paint a bleak picture.

The US state department estimates that 150,000-200,000 prisoners are detained in the camps...

Conditions in the network of labor camps are reported to be extremely harsh, with rights groups saying that torture and ill-treatment are widespread and thousands of children held and forced to work as slave laborers alongside their parents.

Based on accounts from former detainees, human-rights groups believe the conditions are so harsh that at some camps 20-25% of prisoners die every year.

According to a recently published report by the nongovernmental US Committee for Human Rights in North Korea, thousands of prisoners are forced to work - many to their deaths - in mining, logging, farming and industrial enterprises.

The camps give out such meager food rations that prisoners are kept in a condition of "deliberately contrived semi-starvation."

"Inmates are made to work from early morning till late at night in farms or factories, and minor infractions of rules can be met with severe beatings," Amnesty International's latest report on North Korea said.

Former inmates who have escaped North Korea have given accounts of brutal treatment inside the camps, including regular beatings, forced abortions, and rape.

Others have told of Nazi-style experiments involving chemical and biological weapons resulting in the painful deaths of dozens of prisoners at a time.

I don't know what I'd do if my sister were there.

People are saying that North Korea is going to use Laura and Euna as bargaining chips as the UN prepares its response to their atomic bomb tests, but, my God, even few months at a place like that sounds like hell.

Billy Elliot

Billy Elliot won ten Tonys! Yay!



In case you missed it, you have to see when David Alvarez (my Billy!), Trent Kowalik and Kiril Kulish won for best lead actor in a musical. (They shared the Tony.) Their acceptance speech is the cutest thing evah.



I'm buying Jack tap shoes, that's it. I know he's not my son, but by the end of the month he's gonna love Liza Minelli and become a force to be reckoned with on the dance floor.

Daily Tweet Roundup

Me, today:

• Dance, Billy, dance! #
• Oh, theater people... (Alice Ripley... Next to Normal... cuckoo) #Tonys #

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Daily Tweet Roundup

Me, today:

• Just watched 'Taken' with Liam Neeson. My favorite part was when my sister jumped up and shouted "He just opened up a can of whoop-ass!" #

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Diet Update

So I've been on my diet for about ten days now and I've lost six pounds! I finally feel better, too. The first week was pretty unpleasant... I got the worst headaches and felt like I had the flu at times. But I got through it without cheating, exercised almost every single day, and already feel like you can see a difference.

Someone said they were starting today and asked if I have any tips. In addition to what I put in the first post, here are some more:

• If you usually eats sweets and a lot of bread carbs, you'll probably feel yucky the first week, but I read on the internet that when you change your diet for the better like this it can take your body up to ten days to start feeling better. So keep this in mind if feeling like crap lasts more than a couple days, it may take ten. I went like this... Day 1-4: I felt horrid, almost like I had the flu. Day 5-6: I didn't feel flu-like, but I still had horrible headaches. Day 7-8: The headaches finally stopped but I still felt somewhat weak, especially when waking up. Day 9-10: I don't feel weak anymore.
  
• The first couple of nights on the diet I kept waking up because I was so hungry, so on the third and fourth nights I took sleeping pills. Worked like a charm; I stayed asleep. On the fourth and fifth night I woke up as well, but instead of taking sleeping pills again I ate a thing of string cheese so my stomach would stop grumbling and I could get back to sleep. (I then didn't eat my string cheese the next day.)
• In the middle of the day, if I was hungry, instead of eating, I'd sleep some more. (I've slept a lot in the past ten days.) So if you're able to nap, then nap away the hunger pangs.
• I think Cherry Pie and Cashew Cookie Larabars are the best.
• I think romaine lettuce is dull and much prefer arugula or spinach in my salad at lunch even though they are less hearty. Earthbound Farm also makes the best lettuce mix with dill, cilantro, and parley in it called the Fresh Herb Salad. It's deelish.
  
• For motivation, I hung a recent picture of myself on the wall next to two old ones where I was more fit to remind myself of my goal.
• Boom Boom Pow. The best workout song. Makes me forget I don't want to be at the gym.
• If your gym offers something like this, get a body fat analysis. I did and the results were frightening. When you hear someone say, "You are xx percent body fat" it doesn't mean much. But when someone says, "Of your weight which is xxx pounds, xx pounds are lean body mass and xx pounds are fat," it certainly does. I want to get another one done after I've been working out for a few months to see how I've improved.
• When I feel like cheating, this is what I think: It's not that I can never eat pizza (or other delicious off-limits food) again, it's just that I can't eat pizza while I'm on this diet. I'm trying to get my weight back to where it used to be and once I'm there I can eat what I want (in moderation, of course.)

Hmm.... what else.... I think I'm re-learning portion control. Last night I ate out with my family and realized I had the equivalent of two dinners on my plate. So I only ate half the rice, half the shrimp, half the veggies and took the rest home.

Also, someone asked if I'd share my height and weight with everyone. I totally understand why they asked and actually considered doing so as I think it would be motivating for others to see my progress. But after thinking it through I decided not to. This may sound silly but I still get a mean email every once in a while and the last thing I want while I'm struggling to get fit is some dude calling me a fat-ass. I have no problem telling my friends what I weigh and if it were just us girls I'd probably post it, but for now it's not going to happen. I'll post how much weight I lose though (and actually, I'm 5'4"—I have no problem sharing my height!), so you can make your own assumptions.

Is anyone else on the diet? If so, how are you doing?

They're Getting So Big!

Dancing Machine


Just eating an apple


Curious little boy