Karaoke Emergency!

I'm going to a karaoke birthday party Friday night and I need a song to sing! I NEED A SONG!

My song choices last time weren't the best.

I don't want to sing a typical song (I know I can sing every word to "I Will Survive," Tracy, but everyone sings that one), I need to wow people!

Okay, I don't really, but I'd like to not suck.

So, suggestions? Suggestions?

QueerJoe, Kate The Cat, Knit Vs. Knitted

As some of you may know, I'm a knitter, so I'm always checking out other people's knitting blogs. Recently I stumbled upon one that made me laugh, simply because of the name:

QueerJoe's Knitting Blog

Ha ha! Men knit, you know. In fact, I once tried to teach Mark, but he didn't have the patience for it. (Not that I do... I have more unfinished projects than finished ones, but doesn't every knitter?) Anyway, QueerJoe's Knitting Blog is pretty good! You should check it out if you like to knit.

Speaking of knitting, my mom and I babysat my niece and nephew this past weekend while my sister and brother-in-law went to Jazz Fest in New Orleans to celebrate his birthday. Nora has always slept with a hundred babies and toys in her crib, and I was happy to see that "Kate the Cat"—a toy that I knit for her a couple years ago—is still among them. Here's a picture; Kate is the pink and orange thing in the top right corner:

(Pay no attention to the Cabbage Patch butt by Nora's face.)

I wanted to show you "Kate the Cat" because it's one of the few knitting projects I've actually finished. I get bored easily, and all of the changing of yarns in this pattern made it fun. Here are some pictures from when I gave it to Nora. (Look how little she was!)



In case you want to make your own "Kate the Cat," here's a link to the pattern on knitty.com. (It's free!) I followed the directions exactly but then felted it to cover up my mistakes. ;)

PS - The last time I wrote about knitting my pink hat, Mark and I argued over the past tense of the word "knit."

I think "knit" is correct; he thinks "knitted" is correct.

After Googling it, I learned that this subject is often debated. (Who knew? There were 23,000 posts about it.) Apparently "knit" is an irregular verb so that's why the confusion. As for which term is correct—"knit" or "knitted"—both are, but "knit" is more correct. (Well, that's the consensus, anyway.) So ha! Mark... I'm more right than you.

My New Favorite Picture

I took this picture of my nephew, Jack, earlier today:



When I decided to take it, he was happy. (I swear!) But by the time I actually snapped the shutter, a fly came along and landed on his head, and, well... the picture speaks for itself.

Yes, the black dot on his head is a fly.

OMG, how I love him! Is this (and him) not one of the most adorable things you've ever seen?

Rainbow Jello

I made rainbow Jello Jigglers yesterday for Nora and Jack. (When I was little, I called them Knox Blocks.)

I got the idea from a blog called Do Better, which I read about on Craftzine. They were so easy to make and turned out so pretty! Here's what they looked like:


Nora and Jack have never had Jello before and I thought they would totally love it, but neither of them would eat the things. Jack kept throwing his everywhere and Nora kept playing with hers. This is what hers looked like when she was finished:


Oh well! More for me!

Divorce Court

Juanita Bynum is going to be on Divorce Court today and tomorrow!

Tune in, tune it!

Even if you don't usually watch the show, tune in, tune in!

It's going to be a good one and Mark and I want it to rate well! (Mark, because he is the executive producer of the show. And me, because I love Mark!)

In case you don't know who Juanita Bynum is, she's a big-time televangelist, author, actress and gospel singer whose bishop hubby beat her up in an Atlanta parking lot last August. (Here are a couple TMZ articles about it.) She's going to counsel a couple on the show who have had some domestic abuse issues.

PS - Next week, Gary Coleman!

Going Potty

I'm at my sister's house right now. Nora is potty training. She's really interested in whole "going potty" process... the sound it makes, the toilet paper, the flushing, etc.

Tonight she stared at Beverly for a few seconds, then looked up and asked, "KK, do you wipe Beverly's butt?"

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

I saw Forgetting Sarah Marshall this weekend and it's wasn't too bad. I really liked Russell Brand in it; he stole every scene he was in.



Paul Rudd and Jonah Hill were also both hilarious, even though they had really small parts. Paul (we're on a first name basis) actually delivered my favorite line in the movie. I'm not going to tell you what it is because I hate when people repeat lines to me from movies I haven't yet seen (it really ruins the experience, even if they're not plot spoilers), but you're just going to have to take my word for it; it was a good one.

Anyway, where was I? Oh, yes... Paul Rudd and Jonah Hill. I think Jonah has such great comedic timing. I just love him. He hosted SNL a few months ago and did such a good job. In case you didn't see it, here are two of my favorite skits from the episode:

(BTW, I find myself saying things like, "I'm kidding—I'm six years old!" and "I don't even know what that is—I'm six!" all the time now.)

Okay, back to Forgetting Sarah Marshall...

I've decided I'm going to tell you my favorite line, so stop reading now if you don't want me to spoil it. (Btw, this totally isn't going to be funny now because of the big build-up.) Here it is; they were in Hawaii...

Paul Rudd: Chuck is my mainland name. My Hawaiian name is Koo-noo.
Jason Segal: Oh really? What does that mean?
Paul Rudd: It means Chuck.

Ha ha ha ha ha. It was funny... I swear... it must've been in the delivery.

You Put the Boom Boom Into My Heart

I saw this picture on The Sartorialist yesterday...




...and it made me think of this:

Um, how did we know he was gay back then?

PS - You can get your own Choose Life shirt at Katharine Hamnett's website.

The Pope

I just want to update everyone on the Pope and the Popemobile. I didn't go see them this past weekend because I decided there were going to be too many people out and about. However, since I told everyone I was going, I'm going to pretend I went.

Hey everyone, look at the great picture I got of the Pope! (That's me pretending.)

(Bless me Father for I have sinned... I stole the above picture from a
blog called Two Guitar Heroes and a Cat. Please forgive me. Amen.)

(PS - Everyone, please visit Two Guitar Heroes and a Cat so they don't get mad at me.)

Anyway, to make up for the fact that I didn't get any pictures, I scanned one that I took when I went to Rome in high school of Pope John Paul II. Here it is:



He's the little white dot in the middle of the picture. (It was as close as I could get.)

For Emma, Forever Ago

Must. Buy. This.

Bon Iver: For Emma, Forever Ago

It's very, very mellow album, but oh, so beautiful. You can listen to it here.

My favorite songs are:
~ Skinny Love
~ Blindsided
~ The Wolves (Act I and II)
~ Flume

About the record:

It wasn't planned. The goal was to hibernate.

Justin Vernon moved to a remote cabin in the woods of Northwestern Wisconsin at the onset of winter. Tailing from the swirling breakup of his long time band, he escaped to the property and surrounded himself with simple work, quiet, and space. He lived there alone for three months, filling his days with wood splitting and other chores around the land. This special time slowly began feeding a bold, uninhibited new musical focus.

This slowly evolved into days filled with twelve-hour recording blocks, breaking only for trips on the tractor into the pines to saw and haul firewood, or for frozen sunrises high up a deer stand. All of his personal trouble, lack of perspective, heartache, longing, love, loss and guilt that had been stock piled over the course of the past six years, was suddenly purged into the form of song. The end result is, For Emma, Forever Ago, a nine-song album comprised of what's been dubbed a striking debut by critics and fans alike.

Bon Iver (pronounced: bohn eevair; French for "good winter" and spelled wrong on purpose) is a greeting, a celebration and a sentiment. It is a new statement of an artist moving on and establishing the groundwork for a lasting career.

More On Picky

Picky woke up on the wrong side of the bed today (my ovaries) and keeps jabbing me in the fallopian tube with her peg leg. I hate it when she gets like this.

In addition to the second head on her back, Picky also has a pet blob named Stubby (short for stubborn.) Stubby is comprised of old tissue and fluid, but don't let Picky hear you call her a cyst or she'll get pissed. Picky drags Stubby along everywhere she goes.

My Children

Phone conversation last night:

Mark: David and I have names for your children.
Me: What children?
Mark: Your unborn children.
Me: *heavy sigh* What are they?
Mark: Picky and Choosy.

He thinks I'm too finicky when it comes to the men I date, hence naming the children I will never have Picky and Choosy.

And you know, maybe he's right, maybe I am too picky and choosy. But I have not waited this long to settle!

But because I have a good (and someone perverse) sense of humor, I've decided to make these unborn children real. (In a fictional sense, of course.) So here they are... I've drawn pictures of them for you. Ladies and gentleman, please meet Picky and Choosy, my unborn children.




UPDATE: A chat with Laura about the above picture:

Laura: I love Picky's hair and mouth, but you can't tell she and Choosy are sisters.
Me: Choosy's a boy.
Laura: WHAT? No way. Why is he wearing a blue dress then?
Me: Because he's confused. He was born with unidentifiable sex organs.
Laura: No way.
Me: Yes. And you can't see it in the picture, but Picky has a second head coming out of her back.
Laura: Like a Siamese twin?
Me: Yes. It always backtalks her and makes her really angry.
Laura: They make me afraid to have children.

International Cat Hats

Because I like to knit (and because I'm learning how to sew!), I subscribe to Craft magazine's blog, Craft: Blog. If you're crafty like me, you should check it out. You'll LURVE it!

Anyway, their post today is so funny... International Cat Hats

First Kitty Wigs, now this! Spindles and Spices has been posting free patterns for a variety of feline headwear inspired by various nations, including berets from France and a Thai headdress."

Oh, yes. I have a feeling Elvis might be getting one of these soon.

Click here for the post on Craft: Blog.

And click here for the cat beret pattern on Spindles and Spices

BTW, the cat in the beret's name is Greaseball. Elvis is already jealous of his fame. It's been a while since he's been in the limelight. (Well, except for the fur-ball incident of 2008.)

My Bike

So I pulled the ole bike down yesterday, dusted her off, took her to the bike shop and got her tires filled, then rode her to Prospect Park with a friend.

Apparently my bike is a girl.

Here she is:


For those of you who don't know, Prospect Park is like Brooklyn's Central Park. It's large and luscious and filled with trees and birds and fish and all sorts of wonderful things, like this swan, for instance:


The weather was lovely and I had a glorious day, but my bum hurts today from my bike seat.

I Need A Basket

Via Posie Gets Cozy

Bravo, Elvis

*Clap, clap, clap!*


I mean, the way you were able hit both the blanket and the new couch with your barfed-up fur ball—impressive, really.

Oh, and don't even get me started on the awesome placement of your spit string.

Pema Chodron

I just read the most amazing interview in the February 2008 issue of O magazine that Oprah did with a Buddhist nun named Pema Chödrön.

Pema practices something called tonglen, which is "seeing the sameness of what you're feeling with what others feel and letting the pain and joy of your life connect you with all people."

When something bad happens in our life, most of us tend to run away from the situation in order to avoid feeling pain. But nothing is a better teacher than that moment, says Pema, so we should stay with unpleasant feelings. Even looking at the positive side of a negative situation is avoiding the feeling—does that make sense?

I couldn't find the full article anywhere online, but I found a shortened version of it on Oprah's website (as well as a radio interview.)

Here are my favorite parts:

Pema: We have so little tolerance for uncomfortable feelings... that feeling in your stomach of I don't want this to be happening. You try to escape it in some way, but if somehow you could stay present and touch the rawness of the experience, you can really learn something.

Connect with the physical sensation. It always feels really bad; it's usually a tightening in the throat or the heart or the solar plexus. Stay with that and say to yourself, "Millions of people all over the world have this kind of discomfort, fear... this feeling of not wanting things to be this way. This is my link with humanity."

Oprah: What happens if you choose not to sit with the feeling?

Pema: It cuts you off from your compassion and empathy for others. That gives birth to a chain reaction that causes people to self-destruct or strike out and hurt other people. It’s the source of a lot of the pain and destruction that we see in the world today.

Oprah: So what do you do to stay with it?

Pema: The most straightforward way is to breathe in very deeply and connect with the feeling, and breathe it out on the exhalation. I call it compassionate abiding. It means staying with yourself when, probably for your whole lifetime, you’ve always run away at that point.

Oprah: For me, that's getting a bag of chips.

Pema: Yeah, for a lot of people, it's eating.

Oprah: As you wrote in When Things Fall Apart, "This very moment is the perfect teacher..." You also wrote that every day gives us an opportunity to either open up or shut down, and that the most precious opportunity presents itself when you think you can’t handle whatever is happening. So if, in that moment, you can train yourself to open up instead of shutting down…

Pema: That’s exactly when you get a real transformation.

You know, I grew up Catholic, but, for my own personal reasons, don't practice. While I do not miss the religion itself, I miss connecting with something larger than myself—my spiritual side is hungry at the moment. Every time I read something about Buddhist ideas and beliefs, it resonates with me. I know I don't have to actually become one to implement the religion's philosophy into my life, so I'm going to read up on it some more.

PS - Aina comments on this blog a lot; she's a Buddhist. So is her puppy, Gaea. You should check out her blog; she's funny.

Eucalyptus

Lately I've been thinking about getting a plant. I need some greenery in the apartment. Since I know this is exciting news, I'll keep you posted on my progress.

In the meantime, I'm going to get some Eucalyptus for the bathroom. From Apartment Therapy...

Every time you take a shower, the hot steamy air opens up the eucalyptus and fills the bathroom with the great clean scent of the plant...

Ten Years Ago

Okay, maybe nine and half.

Laura and me in 1998 at the Jenny Jones holiday party:


My friends and I called that my Nancy Reagan red dress.

(We were at the top of the 'cock.)

Pillsbury Bakeoff

The big Pillsbury Bake-Off is going on in Dallas today. In case you don't remember, my stepsister Tracy is a contestant. The winner will be announced tomorrow. Go Tracy!

The official Bake-Off blog has been updated all day and it's kind of neat to read. Check it out!

Popemobile

I'm charging my camera batteries, getting 'em ready.


UPDATE: I was just reading Gothamist and came across the best comment ever regarding the popemobile:

"If I had a car, I'd totally Pope My Ride."

Unpublished Posts

I have 242 unpublished posts in my blogger account right now.



So, you know on the days I don't post anything? Chances are that I started to write something but didn't finish because I couldn't wrap my head around what it was I was trying to say, if that makes sense.

See, like right now.

"Chances are that I started... trying to say, if that makes sense."

That sentence is confusing and needs to be rewritten. (But I'm not going to do it right now, so you'll have to live with it.)

Anyway, do other bloggers have a million unpublished posts/drafts, too?

300

So I'm watching the movie "300" right now.

These Spartans were quite the warriors, huh?

"Blood drunk."

They used this phrase to describe one of the soldier's state of mind while fighting.

From here on out, I'm going to use it to describe gory movies.

"300 is blood drunk."

"Last King of Scotland is blood drunk."

(My mom describes movies that my step-dad likes as "shoot-em-up" movies. This is kind of the same thing.)

Sent from my BlackBerry wireless handheld.

My Friend Corey

I was going through old pictures and found this one of my friend Corey. It was taken in 1999 (I think) and it made me laugh. I miss you, Corey!

Birthdays!

It's my brother-in-law's 40th birthday today. FORTIETH. Four-zero. Wow...

Here's a video my sister made for him:

Happy Birthday!

PS - I think Sully said it's his birthday today, too! Happy birthday, Sully!

ASPCA Day

Dis you know today is ASPCA Day? It is!

From the ASPCA's website:

On Thursday, April 10, cities all over the country will be going orange to celebrate the ASPCA’s victories on behalf of animals and the joy they bring to pet parents everywhere.

Lend us your voice on April 10 by dressing yourself, your kids, your pet—even your school or company!—in ASPCA orange, and show the world you support the ASPCA and the pets we protect.

You'll never believe it, but when I woke up this morning, I found Elvis lounging on the sofa in this:


It's Beverly's Easter dress. It was the only thing he could find that was orange.

Meanwhile, Beverly was wearing this:


(She's colorblind. We don't like to draw attention to it.)

Thank you, Jennifer, for the heads up! And Happy ASPCA Day everyone!

Me On A Bike = Oh, Dear...

It's so beautiful outside today; it has to be almost 70. I want to take my bike out, but all the tires on it are flat. I'll have to get them fixed eventually; maybe today's the day.

Btw, my bike will somehow be involved in my death, mark my words.

Albert Einstein

Good quote.

Imagination is more important than knowledge.

—Albert Einstein

That's Mrs. Eminem To You

Last night I had a dream that I was dating Eminem.

My Sunday

So I didn't make it to the Brooklyn flea market yesterday. I forgot that I had a birthday party to go to for a friend's baby who just turned one.

A birthday party for a one-year-old is really just a reason for his parents and their friends to get together and celebrate, so that's what we did. We met in Central Park for champagne (even though it was chilly) and then went to Serafina for lunch. After this, we went to La Goulue for wine, and then a friend's apartment for a drink, and then we ended up at a place in Chelsea singing karaoke until the wee hours of the morning. (More like 11.)

This is what happens when you start the day drinking champagne in Central Park.

Oh... the baby went home after Serafina, in case you're wondering. By himself. We sent him packing with nothing more than a can of mashed peas and a diaper bag. Sure hope he made it.

So, about karaoke songs...

• I'VE NEVER BEEN TO ME by Charlene = Bad
• DELTA DAWN by Tanya Tucker = Better
• FREEDOM by George Michael = Best

If anyone in Boerum Hill or Cobble Hill was awoken last night by a girl singing "Take Me Home Country Roads" by John Denver really loudly on the street, my sincere apologies. I was still in a singing mood when I arrived back in the 'hood and was unaware of just how much I was projecting because I was wearing my noise-canceling headphones.

(To the girl I passed who was walking her dog [a big black one], you told me I sounded good and I thank you for that.)

Oprah's Puppy Mill Show

So Oprah aired the puppy mill show today.

I recorded it but I don't know if I can watch it.

Mark is yelling at me right now, saying I have to.

Who watched?

UPDATE: Okay, now Mark is pissed. As I was publishing this post, he got all serious with me on the IM, saying he's not joking, I need to see it, it's important.

I know it is.

I should watch it now.

Maybe I'll watch it now.

UPDATE 2: Okay, I just started the show and Oprah said, "Our show today is for anybody anywhere who loves a dog, has ever loved a dog, or just cares about their basic right to humane treatment."

I already have tears in my eyes. I mean, just from that.

UPDATE 3: I'm a mess.



UPDATE 4: From Oprah's website, the following organizations and resources offer additional information on adopting animals and fighting back against puppy mills.

Main Line Animal Rescue

The Humane Society of the United States

Lange Foundation

American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals

Petfinder
Adoption service associated with the Animal Planet television series, including links to shelters across North America.

Dogs in Danger

Pets 911
Features searchable lost and found dogs and information about neutering, adoption and training.

World Animal Net
Search for local shelters and adoptable pets.

PetHarbor
Search for local shelters, rescues and adoptable pets.

Best Friends Animal Society
Largest no-kill animal sanctuary in the country

Time Capsule

I'm so exhausted today. I couldn't sleep last night and I'm hurting now because of it.

Anyway...

I went to the Apple store yesterday, the Fifth Avenue one with the cool glass entrance.


I was in the neighborhood so I popped in to buy an external hard drive (I take too many pictures and movies and my current one is filled up) and ended up leaving with a Time Capsule.


In case you don't know what a Time Capsule is, let me explain because it's the coolest thing ever.

First, it's an external hard drive, which is what I had originally planned on buying. It's available in 500 GB and 1 TB capacities; I got the 500 GB one.

Next, it's a wireless modem. Since I already have a wireless modem, this is kind of a replacement for me, but it's better than the one I had and should make my Internet connection stronger and faster.

Third (and this is where things get cool), because it's a wireless modem and external hard drive in one, I can back up all of my files and move things over to it without using cords. (Duh, right?) In the past, every time I wanted to do this, I had to bring my laptop over to my external hard drive, find the cord, plug it in, turn it on, wait for it to register—bottom line, it was a pain in the arse. I mean, the last time I backed up anything my computer was three months ago, maybe longer. With the Time Capsule, I won't ever have to think about it. Once I do the initial back-up, the rest will happen quickly, automatically, daily, without me really even knowing.

Third, and how great is this, I can plug my printer into my new Time Capsule and print wirelessly from here on out. Again, just as with my previous external hard drive, I used to have to bring my laptop over to my printer, find the cord, plug it in, turn it on, and wait for it to boot up just to print something. Anyone with a laptop who prints a lot knows how irritating this is.

Gosh, I love Apple. They make life so much easier.

Anyway, back to the Fifth Avenue store... The place is open 24 hours a day and was a total madhouse when I was there. I asked the guy who was helping me what the crowd was like at 2 AM and he said, "Celebrities usually come in then because no one's here to bother them."

Neato, huh?

Celebrity Sighting!

My friend Mark called me earlier to tell me about a celebrity sighting he had in LA. Here's how our conversation went:

Mark: I'm at the Mayfair Market right now and the guy from Entourage is here.
Me (way excited): Really?! Who? Turtle?
Mark: No, no... the other one. The main one. The one with the hair.
Me: Vinnie Chase is there?!
Mark: Yep, that's the one.
Me: Oh! Will you please take a picture of him for my blog?
Mark: Hun, no! I'm not a paparazzo!
Me: Oh, come on! Please?
Mark: No! I have to go.

He hangs up.

A few minutes later, he calls back.

Mark: Okay, I saw him again as I was leaving and got a picture for you.
Me: Oh, yay! Thank you, thank you!
Mark: I just emailed it. You should get it in a second.

In a second, I get it. I open the email and then the attachment:

Me (confused): Wait, this is it? This is the picture you took?
Mark (proudly): Yep!
Me: But where's Vinny? Is he the—
Mark: Little black blur in the distance, yep.

I don't say anything.

But then I do.

Me (quietly): Lucy Spiller would so fire you if you worked for Dirt.

Mark laughs.

Me: So, it's raining there, huh?
Mark: Sure is...

Mr. Smith Went To Washington

And Beverly went to BookCourt. She found some food and met a cat.

PS - BookCourt is my favorite bookstore in Brooklyn. They carry my book now.

PPS - Yes, I know Beverly's in desperate need of a bath and trim.

PPPS - I also know my camera work blows. I need to work on steadying my hand.

"Give my daughter the shot!"

Entertainment Tonight is counting down the top tear-jerking movies and they just showed a clip from Terms of Endearment.

Gosh, I love this movie. If you haven't seen it in a while, you must watch it. Jack Nicholson is at his absolute best; every word that comes out of his mouth is amazing. And Shirley MacLaine... oh, how I love her. This has to be her best performance ever.

Funny story... When my sister was in labor with Nora, the nurses didn't want to give her an epidural when she arrived at the hospital because they thought she was too close to delivery. In an Aurora Greenway moment, I started screaming, "Give my sister the shot!" hoping to both make them cave and make my sister laugh to take her mind off the pain. It worked—my sister ended up getting the shot and a laugh. (For the record, Jack was delivered au naturel. Go, sissy.)

Later on, however, just as Nora was about to come out, I had a Salt-n-Pepa moment and started singing, "Push it... Push it real good!" My brother-in-law joined in. My sister shot us a nasty glare between huffs and puffs. Doing this is not recommended. I repeat: not recommended.

PS - I couldn't find a link to the tearjerker countdown on ET's website, but I came across this one on TNT's website while searching.

One of These Things...

"One of these things is not like the other looking the same way as the other..."


Aw, damn. That dog's cute.

Spring Has Sprung More

One flower is in bloom!



"Here Beverly... sit next to it."



"Okay, you can play now."



"Say cheese!"

Brooklyn Flea

Brooklyn Flea, a new weekly flea market organized by the lovely folks who run the Brooklyn-based blog Brownstoner (say that fast five times), is opening this Sunday in Fort Greene.

The market will occupy a 40,000-square-foot lot and will be the largest outdoor market in all of New York City. Isn't that exciting?

In case you're interested in going, here's the info from Brownstoner's website:

Brooklyn Flea will take place every Sunday from 10am to 5pm—rain or shine—starting April 6, 2008, at Bishop Loughlin Memorial High School in Fort Greene, Brooklyn, on Lafayette Ave. between Clermont and Vanderbilt Ave.

The Flea will feature 200 vendors of vintage furniture, clothing and antiques alongside new designs by local makers of everything from jewelry to textiles.

Even though it'll be a total madhouse, I'm going. Hope to see you there!

PS - Beverly got Brooklyn fleas before (three times, actually) and it wasn't pretty.

The New York City Waterfalls

Oh, I'm so excited. A cool art installation called The New York City Waterfalls is coming to New York in July.

Spring

Bev and I are going to go back to the park tomorrow to check on the progress of the tulips.

Divorce Court

Do you all know who Juanita Bynum is? She's a big-time televangelist, author, actress and gospel singer whose bishop hubby beat her in an Atlanta parking lot last August. (Here are a couple TMZ articles about it.)

Well, I don't know if you know this, but my friend Mark is the executive producer of Divorce Court, and Juanita's going to be on the show April 24th and 25th counseling a couple who have had some domestic abuse issues. Inside Edition is doing a piece on it tonight, so tune in!

Ooh... and guess who's also going to be in Divorce Court soon. Gary Coleman and his new wife!

Yowza! I can't wait! Like, I ask Mark about it every single day.

PS - I think they're going to talk about their sex life.

Happy April!

From the October 2006 issue of Elle magazine:

I'm f*cking scared! And that's what I want. I want to be terrified. I want to do what I think I'm going to f*cking fail at miserably. Go down in flames like a fighter pilot, totally screw everything up, be an incompetent, sabotaging asshole. I want full-tilt, 80-miles-an-hour heading into a brick wall. That's what I want.

— Drew Barrymore

2008 is already 1/4 gone, so go through all those new year's resolutions you made and get back on track. Take chances, be daring, live life. Don't let dreams and goals pass you by because you became intimidated, scared, or even lazy. Do what you think you're going to fail at miserably... you might actually succeed.

Cheers!