So I'm sitting at a Starbucks on the upper east side and this totally irritating man comes up to me and wants to share my table. I say sure, fine, absolutely, sit down. But he doesn't, and instead starts moving the table as I'm sitting at it, typing. You see, he wants to lean against a wall and rest his arm here or there or something like that. But I can't type on my laptop when the table is shoved in the corner against the wall, so when the guy goes up to get his coffee, I move it back to where it's supposed to be... So when he comes back, he's all like, "Why isn't the table where I moved it?" Well sir, I can't fit my chair in the small space between it and the window when it's shoved in the corner like that. There are four other tables open, why don't you take one of those? "Because I want to sit here, the light is better." Well, fine, sit here, but you're not moving the table. So he sits at a different table, pulls out his paper, starts reading. People sit at the table next to him, start talking. He asks them to keep it down. They look at him, like, "Crazy fool." He continues to read his paper, then takes off his shoes.
STARBUCKS ISN'T YOUR FREAKIN' LIVING ROOM, GROSS GUY.
Don't ever do this.
May 29, 2007
Ramble About Gross People At Starbucks
May 24, 2007
Awe... How, um... cute?
Sure-fire way to ensure that your child will be in therapy for a long, long time...
Dress them up as a "toilet child" this Halloween!
Note: This is a REAL costume.
May 23, 2007
My Friend Randy is "On The Lot"
My friend Randy Slavin is one of the semi-finalists on the new Fox show "On The Lot." I wrote about him in Save Karyn and in this post a few months back:
My Friend Randy
Randy's a wonderful, talented, beautiful person inside and out and I know he will win! He will! He will!
Here is a link to the film he submitted called Anniversary.
You can also see him in the following clips on the "On The Lot" site:
Go Randy, go!
May 21, 2007
Everyone, Please Meet songbird550
This past weekend, I stumbled upon something which can only be described as pure gold.
While browsing around an online karaoke website called SingShot.com, I discovered a 65-year-old woman who calls herself "songbird550."
Songbird550 is sweet as pie and might be my favorite person ever. She's recorded 260 songs, the best of which needs to be debated. My faves are "Stand By Your Man" by Tammy Wynette, "Here I Am" by Air Supply, and "Alone" by Heart.
And now, without further ado, I bring you... songbird 550.
Other songbird550 gems:
Long Live Left Eye
So... did anyone else watch "Last Days of Left Eye" this weekend and like, um... cry?
May 20, 2007
Pinkberry
After having Pinkberry for the first time a month or so ago, I had Tasti D-Lite today, and you know what? It's terrible.
Pinkberry all the way for me. There really is no contest.
Read more:
'Pinkberry Concept' of Yogurt Gets Set To Infuse Manhattan
Pinkberry in culture clash
May 17, 2007
Come On Down
On behalf of spayed and neutered pets everywhere, I say God bless Bob Barker.
I have tears streaming down my face right now watching this tribute thing on CBS tonight. He just talked all about being anti-fur, and now Adam Sandler's out there on stage with him... God, what a legend.
I've always wanted to go on The Price is Right; I can't believe I never did. I mean, I never even tried, which is so pathetic. That's a lesson I guess—take full advantage of today's opportunities because they might not be around tomorrow.
Sure, sure... I know George Hamilton's going to take over for him, but it's not gonna be the same. I mean, what are they gonna call the Barker Beauties? The Harry Hookers? That doesn't sound right...
I can't believe I never got a chance to play Plinko, or spin the wheel, or compete in the Showcase Showdown. I'd so be that person who bet $1...
Dammit.
Headine of the Day
Really? I mean... really?
According to viral immunologist Skip Virgin, the herpes family of viruses can protect against the bubonic plague.
These new results do not mean people should go out and get infected with herpes," Virgin stressed.
Thanks for clarifying that, Skip, because I was ready to run out and rape Fred Durst. (Eww... I would never do that.)
You realize what this means, don't you. If the bubonic plague hits any time soon, Paris Hilton will have the power to save the human race.
Just what mankind needs.
The New Boombox
I saw this portable amplifier made for MP3 players in today's New York Times. The article said it's an ideal "summertime companion for block parties, tailgate blowouts, picnics, family reunions and rocking at the beach."
Screw the beach—I'd get this puppy and roll it down the street while running my errands right here in good ole Brooklyn.
Remember when everyone used to walk around carrying boomboxes on their shoulder in the eighties? This is the new, updated version of that, totally made for today's lazier society.
No need to use those muscles and hoist it up on your shoulder—just pull out the collapsible handle and you're off.
Sweet.
Intuition
Here's a story about trusting your intuition.
Yesterday a bad storm blew through town. It was one of those storms where, on an otherwise nice day, it suddenly gets dark and gloomy and starts pouring down rain. I was working from home at the time and didn't think too much of it until my sister called from her cell phone asking me if I was okay. Apparently her little Connecticut town got hit really hard and she lost power.
But that's not all.
"The wind was so strong and the thunder so loud that I got a bad feeling," she said, "and something told me to take Nora and Jack into the basement." (For those of you who don't know, Nora and Jack are my niece and nephew. They are two years and three months old, respectively.)
After the storm passed, she went back upstairs. When she looked out the window she saw a fire truck and ambulance parked right in front of her house, smoke rising above both. Come to find out, lightening struck a tree and it fell through the roof of the house directly across the street from her. Directly. To give you an example of how big some of the trees are where she lives, a couple of the Christmas trees at Rockefeller Plaza have come from there.
The people inside the house weren't hurt, but they had to leave the house because it was declared structurally unsound. Isn't that terrible? To make it worse, the house was for sale, too. Talk about terrible timing.
Anyway, it wasn't a tornado, just a terrible storm, and about 60,000 people in the area lost power. My sister still doesn't have any, which means no phone, no water or toilet (electric pump), etc. Makes things difficult when you have two little kids.
My sister is going to be fine, but the moral of the story is to trust your intuition. Storms happen every year, but something told my sister to go in the basement during this one. Could've been her house.
May 16, 2007
R. Kelly Has Multiple Personality Disorder
R.Kelly thinks he's Ali, Marvin Gaye, Bob Marley and MLK.
My greatest competition is, well, me... I'm the Ali of today. I'm the Marvin Gaye of today. I'm the Bob Marley of today. I'm the Martin Luther King, or all the other greats that have come before us. And a lot of people are starting to realize that now."
It makes total sense he'd compare himself to these men. I mean, remember how much they liked to urinate on teenage girls? Yeah... me neither.
Source: Page Six
BCBG Dress/Shirt
I bought this BCBG dress at Bloomingdale's in September and wore it to death this past season. I put it over skinny jeans or leggings and always got a hundred compliments on it. It's one of those things that you can throw on and run out of the house in, or dress up for a night out.
It's on sale at Bluefly right now for $82... so snatch one up if you are so inclined!
BCBG Charcoal Stretch Banded Short Dress @ Bluefly
I was wearing it in this picture taken on my birthday. (It was taken at 4 AM; forgive the smeared makeup.)
May 15, 2007
Falwell Dies, Tinky Winky and Gays Everywhere Rejoice
Death is never a time to celebrate, but I think we should memorialize this recent passing by having a huge orgy!
LYNCHBURG, Va. - The Rev. Jerry Falwell, the television evangelist who founded the Moral Majority and used it to mold the religious right into a political force, died Tuesday shortly after being found unconscious in his office at Liberty University. He was 73."Sorry if my enthusiasm offends you, but remember, this is a man who said feminists, gays, lesbians, and the ACLU were partly responsible for 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Center.
His exact words...
"I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way—all of them who have tried to secularize America—I point the finger in their face and say you helped this happen."Falwell also...
- Supported racial segregation during the Civil Rights movement, saying, "I do question the sincerity of people like the Reverend Martin Luther King..."
- Supported the South African apartheid and opposed Nelson Mandela's release from prison.
- Called Ellen DeGeneres "Ellen Degenerate" when she announced she was a lesbian, and demanded that sponsors yank their advertising from her sitcom.
- Said "AIDS is the wrath of a just God against homosexuals."
- Announced the long-awaited "anti-christ" will be a Jewish man.
Amy Fisher and Joey Buttafuoco...
Are securing their place in hell.
Joey Buttafuoco and Amy Fisher are planning a romantic rendezvous for tomorrow night. Fresh from the pen and soon to be single, Buttafuoco will wine and dine Long Island Lolita Amy Fisher over a candlelit dinner at a restaurant overlooking Central Park...
The pair—whose yearlong affair ended in 1992, when Fisher shot Buttafuoco's then-wife, Mary Jo—plan to meet a couple of times during the week in an effort... [to] attract interest in a reality show..."
Don't forget the marshmallows!
"On the Next Rosie O'Donnell..."
When your past comes back to bite you in the arse...
The ratings for her show were terrible. They basically threw her off the air..." — Donald Trump on Rosie, December 2006
And today...
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Bwah ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Girl Crush: Sarah Silverman
To celebrate the fact that I'm almost done writing my next book, a young adult fiction novel about a girl who experiences her very first "girl crush," I thought I'd reveal my own current girl crush to you... Sarah Silverman. Sarah's one hot bitch and I'd totally do her if given the chance. However, something tells me if this were to happen, the real thing wouldn't be as great as the fantasy. I mean, you know in the middle of it I'd be like, "C'mon Sarah, tell me a joke..."
Sarah is on the cover of this month's Maxim magazine, the special "Hot 100" issue. She's #29 on their list... but #1 on mine. Ha.
Make sure to check out The Sarah Silverman Program on Comedy Central. The CC website has a bunch of show clips on it.
Who's your girl crush?
Celebrity Sighting: Emily Mortimer
I've been sitting next to Emily Mortimer at Starbucks for the past hour. Since I thought it would be rude to take a picture of her with my computer like I did with bloated Harry, I instead took a picture of her coffee, which she left on the table when she left. Here it is:
Emily has been in many films, including Notting Hill, The Pink Panther and Match Point, in which she played Jonathan Rhys Meyer's wife.
She also played a love interest of Alec "You are a rude, thoughtless little pig" Baldwin in a few episode of "30 Rock."
Grey Gardens
My friend Mark came to town last month and we saw "Grey Gardens" on Broadway. It was amazing and I started to write a post about it but never finished. Well, low and behold it was just nominated for ten Tony's, including...
Best Musical, Leading Actress in a Musical - Christine Ebersole (She will win! She will win!), Featured Actress in a Musical - Mary Louise Wilson, Book of a Musical, Original Score, Director, Scenic Design, Costume Design, Lighting Design, and Orchestrations.
If any of you are planning a trip to New York, "Grey Gardens" is a MUST for your to-do list. It's based on the cult documentary about Jackie Kennedy Onassis' aunt and first cousin, Edith Bouvier Beale and "Little" Edie. Before you see it, you should do a little research so you know what it's about - it will enrich your experience! Here is a great article about it.
Christine Ebersole played Big Edie in the first half and Little Edie in the second. I was blown away by her performance and cried *real* hard at the end. Little Edie was essentially a schizophrenic (well, it's now rumored she was—at the time she was never diagnosed) and Christine Ebersole perfectly captured how funny, tragic, and vulnerable she was. Both she and her mother were outcasts of society who had delusions of grandeur, which is why I was so moved. When Christine Ebersole bowed at the end, it was as if Little Edie was up there on stage, bowing as well. She finally got her moment on Broadway... and it was so damn sweet.
Anyway, a feature film is in the works, and Drew Barrymore and Jessica Lange are attached to play Little and Big Edie. The writer/director (Michael Sucsy) is a good friend of Mark's, so I've been hearing about Grey Gardens for years.
Like I said, the musical is based on a documentary. To see great excepts from it (as well as funny remixes and spoofs), visit YouTube and do a search for "Grey Gardens." (Don't watch excepts from the musical—you'll ruin it!—just the documentary!) Here's a great clip re-edited to Madonna music:
Fun Fact: Little Edie and her "revolutionary costumes" have served as inspiration for many fashion designers, including Marc Jacobs:
I also love this one... it's haunting. (It also contains clips from "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf"—one of my favorite films ever!)
It's very difficult to keep the line between the past and the present, you know what I mean?" — Little Edie
May 14, 2007
Attention Serial Shoppers
Is your life one BIG fashion emergency? Are you stumped on where to find the most sought-after styles, suffering from withdrawal or simply clothes-minded? Then you need a dose of FashionJunkie.com (FJ) — your shopping chaperon cluing you in on what to buy and where to buy it... before it’s passé.
FJ is the brainchild of Dara Fleischer, a self-confessed shopaholic. A few years back I had the pleasure of meeting Ms. Fleischer at a book-signing of mine. Click here to see how fabulous she is.
Dara initially created FJ as a fun and frivolous diversion while she pursued a career in fashion and beauty publishing. Within weeks of launching, she quickly realized she was filling a void for the fashion challenged from across the globe, as she was inundated with emails requesting her advice for every conceivable quandary, from where to find discontinued lip-gloss to uplifting lingerie. After a series of high-profile jobs in PR and editorial, Dara inevitably followed her true calling by turning her passion for fashion into a full-time business. FashionJunkie’s mission is simple: to make the world a better-dressed place, one person at a time.
Dara currently shares an apartment in Manhattan along with her 107 pairs of shoes (each stored and labeled in their own plastic bin) and 68 handbags. She could be my idol.
Click here to sign up for FashionJunkie’s free email newsletter, published every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
May 13, 2007
Gloom Be Gone
Remember what I said I was in a funk? Well, I'm officially out of the bell jar and will be posting more frequently, so check back!
(Yes, I had a three-month long funk. I was overwhelmed with things... I'm not a good juggler.)
May 9, 2007
Celebrity Sighting: Prince Harry Part III
OMG, I did it, I did it! I used the built-in camera and Photo Booth program on my Mac and snapped a picture of Harry! I'm so clever...
Before I unveil it, I just wanna say that I know it's not the greatest shot, but I had to take it on the sly. Right before Photo Booth takes a picture the whole computer screen lights up like a flash so I had to adjust the brightness so he wouldn't see it. It was a pain, really... but here it is.
Okay, so it's not the best picture, but based on the half of his face that I did get, do you see the resemblance?
Yeah, I know... Prince Harry is much cuter than the Harry on the train.
Celebrity Sighting: Prince Harry Part II
Harry is still sitting next to me and it's killing me... I wanna ask him so many things.
I wanna ask him why he dressed up as a Nazi. I wanna ask him how he felt about being called Harry Potter. I wanna ask him if he knows he's waaay cooler than Wills. I wanna kiss him--
Oops, sorry. I must've eaten too much sugar or something.
Sent from my BlackBerry wireless handheld.
Celebrity Sighting: Prince Harry... Kinda
Okay, I'm on the train coming back from my sister's house and a guy who looks an awful lot like Prince Harry just sat down next to me.
Yeah, I know... Not exactly a celebrity sighting, but it's probably the closest I'll get to the real thing so I wanted to share it with you.
Damn, I hate that my BlackBerry doesn't have a camera in it. (Why is that by the way? Get on it, RIM!)
Sent from my BlackBerry wireless handheld.
Griffith Park Fire in LA
This terrible fire in Griffith Park in Los Angeles is dangerously close to my friend Mark lives with his boyfriend David. Here is a picture of it burning behind the Observatory...
...and here is a Google Earth image showing how close they live to it. They are 1/4 of a mile away from the park border and 3/4 of a mile away from the Observatory.
Scary.
Everyone, Please Meet Fashion Public
Bored with mainstream fashion that's produced for the masses?
So is my beautiful and brilliant friend Jill, the brains behind what will soon be every fashionista's favorite shopping website... fashionpublic.com.
Fashion Public is an online marketplace where customers can purchase boutique apparel and accessories directly from the designers who create them.
They're having a SAMPLE SALE in LONDON this Saturday, May 11th. Click the flier below for details and to RSVP.
PS... Jill was featured in an article in The Observor a couple weeks ago about female entrepreneurs.
THE E-RETAILER, JILL SIMON, ONLINE FASHION RETAILER -- American-born entrepreneur Jill Simon will launch fashionpublic.com, an online marketplace for independent fashion brands, in Britain this autumn... The retailer will target trendy individuals who don't follow the fashion pack.
'It's not Gucci, Pucci or Prada we'll be selling,' she says. 'This is for women who reject mass-market fashion.'
The website will provide designers with a route to market, without the overheads, in exchange for a commission on goods sold. Simon has been working with Sally Heale, an experienced fashion scout who has worked with store s such as Henri Bendel and Saks in the US. So far 150 brands have signed up. Simon says 80% of them have a proven track record, while the remainder will be newcomers breaking through.
May 8, 2007
Today I'm Thankful For...
Julia from 3 for 365 gave me all sorts of suggestions for my blog and I thank her very much!
In case you don't know Julia, she lists three things she's thankful for every single day on her blog. To follow her lead, today I'm thankful for...
- Julia, who took time out of her busy day to help me.
- My niece Nora, who showered me with hugs and kisses about a half hour ago.
- Kombucha (My new favorite obsession... I can't get enough of it.)
May 7, 2007
New Layout
I've redesigned my blog to make it easier to view on different browsers. I'll be tweaking it over the next few days, so let me know if you have any suggestions! Thanks!