Hassie Posse

I'd like to teach you all a favorite phrase of mine, something I made up. I live in Brooklyn, home to quite a few Hasidic Jewish people. Whenever I see a group of them (meaning 3 or more) dressed in traditional attire, I refer to them as a "Hassie Posse."

I don't mean any disrespect when I say this and I'm sorry if I've offended anyone - "Hassie Posse" is simply a play on words, a rhyme, something like "gal pal," "boy toy," or "boob tube."

The reason I've decided to tell you all about "Hassie Posse" is because I get super-excited every chance I get to use the phrase, like yesterday, for example. As many of you may have heard, the tram between Manhattan and Roosevelt Island stalled over the East River, trapping 68 people for six hours. When the news--which covered every second of the unfolding tragedy--broadcast the big rescue, I was delighted to see that the first group of people brought to safety was none other than a "Hassie Posse." See all of them to the left of the policeman? There's 1-2-3 of them, which means they qualify as an official Hassie Posse! They were greeted with matzo when they arrived safely on land. You'd think I'm kidding, but I'm not. They really were.

Anyway, what are some of your favorite made-up phrases? Let me know.

The Accidental Babysitter

So how weird is this? I was waiting in line this morning at Cafe Kai, a cafe in my neighborhood, when the woman in front of me didn't have enough cash to pay. She had two kids with her (maybe two and three years old - one was in a stroller) and she got two smoothies for them, so she handed over her debit card to the cashier. The cashier was a new employee and explained that she didn't know how to use the credit card machine so we all just stared into space for a bit like, "Hmmm... what now?" because the kids were already chugging them down. Realizing I had enough cash with me, I offered to pay for the woman's smoothies and told her she could just go to the ATM after we left and get money to pay me back. She looked nice, her kids were dressed well - I could tell she was good for the money - so no biggie.

The woman was grateful that I offered to do this, but then said, "Actually, could you watch my kids for me while I go to the ATM right now?"

Watch her kids? Was she serious?

I didn't know what else to say, so I was like, "Uh... sure," so the woman left. Let me repeat that. The woman LEFT. HER KIDS. ALONE. WITH ME. A STRANGER.

I realize I didn't look very threatening - I was carrying a Yorkie in a bag and was wearing a Brown University t-shirt (stolen from an old boyfriend - I'm not that smart.) But still, this woman doesn't know me from Adam. Or Eve. Or whoever. What if I took her kids and ran away? Or on the other hand, what if she never came back? I mean, I hadn't even thought about that. What if she was a mom on the verge of a nervous breakdown and saw me as an opportunity to get away from diapers and Desitin.

Sheesh.

Thankfully, the woman returned after a few minutes. And, thankfully, her kids were still there when she did.

Happy Easter!

I'm so sorry for the lack of updates, but I've been WAY busy making my Easter bonnet out of peeps and cellophane grass for the big parade on Sunday.


HAPPY EASTER! Happy Passover, too, to all you non-Christians!

My Starbucks Office III: Confronting Lenny... For Real This Time

Okay, so I'm trying to post this via e-mail using my Blackberry so I hope it works...

I'm at Starbucks right now sitting smack dab next to Lenny. Not only that, but I'm facing him - we're sitting on opposite sides of two tables that are right next to each other. Taking everyone's advice, I held my head high and said hello in a very friendly way when I walked in and saw him here, and he gave me the cold shoulder. Either he's embarrased or angry that I didn't call him back, or I just thought about this: what if he read this blog and knows that I've told everyone about him? It's not totally implausible. (I think that's the first time I've ever used that word. Did I use it correctly?)

You know, I miss the early days of savekaryn.com, when my website was anonymous and I could write and say whatever I wanted about anyone and not worry about them reading it. Now I have to worry about hurting people's feelings and stuff, and I can't write about any of my dates for fear of the guys I'm dating reading it. Hmmm... maybe another another anonymous blog is in order.

Okay, I hate typing on my Blackberry, so more on this later.

Sent from my BlackBerry wireless handheld.

Previously: My Starbucks Office - Part II, My Starbucks Office: An Open Letter to Starbucks Corporate