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Blog Archive

May 25, 2006

To Catch a Mouse

Okay... in case some of you don't know, I might've had a mouse in my closet two nights ago. (Scroll down to the bottom of this post for links to the beginning of the mouse saga.) Before I tell you if there was a mouse or if I caught a mouse, I want to tell you how my day went yesterday.

After waking up at 2pm (see this post for more details on that), I called my landlord and told him that I have a mouse. He owns a butcher shop, so he sent one of his butcher shop cronies up to my apartment to check it out. When the guy arrived, I told him the whole story and pointed to my closet, which had been sealed off with a periwinkle Martha Stewart towel. "He's in there," I said. "I know it." Butcher Shop Crony (BSC) opened the door and looked around, but he didn't see the mouse or any trace of the mouse inside. Seriously, there weren't droppings lying around or anything.

After looking for an explanation, BSC--get this--started pointing (because he doesn't speak English) to my vacuum cleaner (which I keep in this closet), insinuating it was that that was making the noise I heard. This seemed to be the only logical explanation to him because, you know, all vacuums make noise when they're unplugged, sitting in a closet. Moron. I told BSC that the noises I heard weren't coming from my vacuum cleaner magically moving around in the closet, nor were they a figment of my imagination--they were coming from a mouse--but he wouldn't listen. I heard chewing. I heard gnawing. THERE'S A MOUSE IN MY CLOSET, WHY WON'T YOU BELIEVE ME?!!?

On his way out, I asked BSC if he'd bring me a mousetrap, but he just shook his head. "Non."

After this, I called my family and friends and told them the story of the mouse. At first they were like, "Oh I believe you," but when they heard the "no droppings" part they changed their mind. One by one, they all tried to convince me that I was crazy, that there probably wasn't a mouse in my closet, that I must've overreacted. I told them no, that Elvis and Bev saw/heard the little rodent too, but apparently they don't count.

Fuckers. Everyone.

Anyway, around 5pm the money that I was waiting for magically appeared in my checking account (yes!), so I marched down to the corner store and bought myself a mousetrap. They didn't have "real" mousetraps there, the kind that maim and KILL the little rodents, just glue traps. The guy behind the register laughed while ringing me up.

When I got home, I put a glue trap down in the closet and closed the door. A few hours went by and nothing. A few more hours went by and still nothing. After a few more hours, I decided to put a second glue trap down with a piece of Beverly's dog food right in the middle of it. And then... about an hour later... I heard it. "Squeak! Squeak! Squeak!" (sounds of the plastic being dragged around) "Squeak! Squeak! Squeak!"

This happened less than an hour ago.

First of all, I feel justified. I HAD A MOUSE IN MY CLOSET--I KNEW IT! Second of all, I'm scared shitless to open the door. The squeaking and plastic dragging has stopped so maybe I should--oh wait. There it goes again. I spoke too soon. I think the mouse is trying to move around.

I momentarily feel sad.

The moment is over.

Ahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is so freakin' disgusting.

The butcher shop opens at 7:30am. I hope BSC is there again so I can say, "Ha! I was right. There was a mouse in my closet. And I caught it."

Before I go, can we talk about the box the glue traps came in? I mean, what's going on there? First, the two mice they drew on the cover look like Tom Jerry, a mouse that I--and I think I speak for a large majority of the population here--grew up with and consider to be my friend. Second, what exactly are the mice on the glue trap doing? The one at the bottom looks like he's taking a nap after a hearty meal, and the one on the left looks like he's about to join him. Are they supposed to be dead/dying? It says "Non-Poisonous" right at the bottom so I doubt it. I bet the one on the bottom is thinking, "Seeing as though I'm stuck here until someone comes to get me I might as well get some rest." And I think the one on the left went blind or something and is like, "My eyes! My eyes!" On the other hand, maybe he just has allergies.

And oh yes, and in case you're wondering... I have been up all night--I'm not an early riser. This mouse is wreaking havoc on my life. (Okay fine, the extra-long Xanax-induced sleep yesterday didn't help either, but that was the mouse's fault, too.)

PREVIOUSLY: Zzzz... This is Your Brain on Drugs, Another Mouse Update, Mouse Update, I HAVE A MOUSE!!!!!

UPDATE: This post was linked on Gawker. Thanks!

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

i think the mouse name is jerry, not tom =)

Michelle said...

It says "Non-Poisonous" right at the bottom so I doubt it.

Then how come there is a little tombstone with RIP on it! LOLOLOL

LeighAnn said...

You are a strong woman. I probably would have checked into a hotel. Which of course I can't do because I am in debt!

Maybe you should have put one of the Xanax on the trap instead of the dog food. :-)

T-A said...

OMG - you bought a glue trap?! I SO wouldnt have done that! Ever since I read Graham Nortons biography & his episode with a little house guest in his NY appartment I have realised they are pointless. He ended up having to drown mouse (still attached to board!) O and so you know - Glue boards float so if you're going for the drowning option you need to be brave enough to push the board under the water!! Good Luck - I think you may need it!! :-)

Kelly said...

they have knew mousetraps that the mouse crawls into and then it snaps shut they look like a hockey puck

cami said...

that's awesome you caught the mouse! you should have invited BSC back to show it to him to prove you're not crazy!

Anonymous said...

I had a mouse problem several apartments ago, and my landlord (a plumber, rather than a butcher) refused to believe me. I screwed up my courage and retrieved the by-then dead rodent, who was in a conventional trap I'd bought and set myself. Then I wrapped the whole thing up in a shoebox and MAILED it to my landlord. The little corpse did the trick, and the reluctant landlord sent over an exterminator.

Anonymous said...

Get rid of it quick, they are known to bite off their legs to get out of the glue

Carol said...

I so sympathize with you. I never saw a mouse any place that I had ever lived until two years ago when I was living in a condo building (that had a creek behind it). A plumber had to cut a hole in the wall behind the toilet to work on the pipes. Until the wall could be re-sheetrocked, we put up a temporary shield. The shield buckled creating a gap, and one day voila, a mouse came in (apparently they were traveling in the walls of the building -eww). We did not live on the ground floor and I could not believe that they could even get upstairs. I knew nothing about mice - I had to actually do research on them via google (and the more I learned, the more scared I got). It also affected me just as you described -I was a wreck instead of happily going about my business LOL! When a second one appeared a few months later, that was it -- I moved! I also remember Kelly Ripa telling her NY loft mouse tales on her show around the same time(she later sold the loft of course). Be brave!

venus de kilo said...

Not to freak you out even more... Someone told me when I moved to NY that mice are territorial, so if you get a mouse, you should let it hang out because at least there is only one. When the one mouse "cedes his territory," so to speak, you risk an invasion of new mice who will fight to be the new "residents."

I don't know if this is true - I hope it's not, hope it was just someone's humorous attempt at scaring the new girl.

team gingerbread said...

lol@leighann with the xanax on the trap!

Ugh!

I feel your pain, our house had a supposed phantom ouse problem too.

Ew, it still creeps me out. I think the worst part isn't that they're mice, but the scurrying sound that alerts you to their presence.

missfitness said...

I have a story about it too.
Why are landlords always such dicks?

Anonymous said...

Tip about the glue traps...if you leave it in there for a few days, the mouse will die of starvation. I did this in my kitchen last year when I had a mouse infestation problem and was afraid to throw out the glue trap for fear of the mouse biting my hand when I picked the trap up off the counter. Another tip: oven mitts (no I don't mean potholders, I mean the heavy-duty mitt that goes up to like your elbow) help with the fear of getting bit

Anonymous said...

This happened to me too (the mouse dying of starvation) and I also left it to die. The bonus was the first mouse was gone for so long that his friend came looking for him and fell victim to the very same glue trap as mouse #1. Dumb fuckers. Don't know what that other poster was talking about w/ them chewing off their legs to escape...my mice were clearly not that smart.

Anonymous said...

but aren't mice cute?

Atleast it was not a rat or something big and ugly!!!

Claire and Lara said...

SAVE KARYYNNNNN!!!!

Did you post on our lowly blog?
We are starstuck and pathetically hoping so as we have told everyone we know. Can we kiss you?

claire and lara
www.trippingonwords.blogspot.com

p.s. how did you find us anyway?

T-A said...

Is anyone else concerned that Karen may have been subject to some kind of NY Mouse fight back hence the not posting for a day or 3?! O dear, I know have a sketchy vision of poor Karen stuck to a giant glue board...hmm think i need to get out more!
But seriously - where you gone Karen?

beth said...

i have a mouse that visits from time to time. he like chocolate, dark chocolate to be exact. but i think my up stairs neighbor got a cat and my food is all sealed up so i think he's gone.

they don't do much... chipmunks on the other hand....

Leahanne said...

ahh... poor mouse stuck to the glue trap can't move at least with a trap it is a possible instant death i hate to see anything suffer or even a live trap they crawl in and then set free... I know what everyone is thinking it a mouse... but it doen't deserve to suffer. :( please don't use glue traps

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