Greetings From The Beach

Bev digs the sand and surf.

Blogger's Choice Awards

A fabulous chick named Karen nominated pretty* in the city for a Blogger's Choice Award. Thank you, Karen!

No one really ever nominates me for anything so I'm super excited.

I've been nominated in following categories:

Best Humor Blog

Best Pop Culture Blog

Best Blog of All Time

Vote for me please! If you can't decide which category to vote for me in, why not do it in all three? Tee hee!

PS: I'm in the Hamptons sitting by a pool right now. I haven't looked at a computer for the past three days, but I couldn't help myself today... I missed you guys!

xx

On Vacation...

I'm gonna be getting my beach on in the Hamptons this week so I probably won't be able to update as there's no wireless where I'm staying.

I'm bringing my camera and a camcorder, though, so I'll post pics and/or video when I return!

XX

Ugly People

I had this conversation with a friend recently and now I'm out and about and thought about it again... I think very few people in this world are ugly.

I think some people are more attractive than others, but I rarely see someone who'd I'd describe as being ugly. I find less attractive people interesting to look at, I suppose. I like crooked faces, big noses; they give people character, make them unique, like dents in an old piece of wooden furniture.

Anyway, my friend totally disagreed with me and thinks there are a lot of ugly people in this world, but I don't know... I just can't remember the last time I looked at someone and was like, "Eww... They're ugly."

Thoughts?

Sent from my BlackBerry wireless handheld.

Condy Likes It Sweet

I have a strange but true story.

A friend of mine went to a party at Condoleezza Rice's house and said that Condy puts Sweet'N Low in her wine. I swear, this isn't like "a friend of a friend" story. My friend said that she (meaning Condy) tore open a little packet of Sweet'N Low and dumped it into her white wine before drinking it.

Here, I made this pretty picture for you.

Donny Deutsch-Bag

Donny Douchebag is on the Today show right now telling people to be the CEO of their dating life, which sounds a little familiar to me because it was my idea
in my book and you totally

stole it, Donny, you

know you did!

You're an ad man... get your own ideas... thief.

From Save Karyn...

Today Show Wedding

Okay, so I'm watching the Today show right now, and they just announced the winning couple that will be getting married this summer in the "Today Throws A Martha Stewart Wedding," and I have to ask... are they even old enough to be getting married?

← There they are. They look like they're twelve—don't they?

I just looked it up; they're 21 and 22 years old. I'm sorry but that's waaaay too young to be getting married.

I'm boycotting this wedding. It's gonna end in divorce.

How Up Are You On Current Events?

I've never really been a big reader of Wired magazine (even though I think I was in it once), but I somehow ended up with a free subscription to it so I've been reading it lately. This past month I ran across an interesting article that said even though we have more news resources at our fingertips than ever before, Americans know less about current events today than we did in 1989. Interesting, isn't it?

So, test yourself...

Who is the vice president?

Who is the governor of your state?

Who is the president of Russia?

Does the US have a trade deficit or a surplus?

Do you know which party controls the House of Representatives?

Is the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court a liberal, moderate, or conservative?

Who is the Speaker of the House?

Who is the Secretary of Defense?

So, how'd you do? I was able answer everything correctly except for the trade deficit thing. I mean, I got it right, but only because I took a wild guess. I don't mean to sound like a moron, but I don't exactly know what it is. I mean, was this something I learned about in school? Because if so, I don't remember. Am I alone here?

Wise Fatherly Advice

I went to Connecticut this past weekend to visit my sister (as I mentioned in the previous two posts), and the funniest thing happened.

My two-year-old niece, Nora, kept putting this blue plastic golf ball into her mouth. Every time she'd do it, she'd get in trouble and therefore take it out, but after a while she'd put it back in again. After the umpteenth time of this happening, my brother-in-law became angry, so he sat her down and very seriously said, "Nora, just because something fits into your mouth doesn't mean it belongs there."

You know, if only my dad had told me this when I was younger, my life might've turned out much differently.

Nora Loves You

My niece this past weekend. I love her so much I can't stand it.

One Size Fits Most

My sister and her husband are having an Oktoberfest party next month and ran across this beer stein hat while shopping for plates, cups, etc.

←

Even though it's totally tacky (no, they aren't buying it), you have to read the description. It's pretty great.

Cute Baby T-Shirt

I recently had to buy a baby gift for someone so I went to the website of a store I love called Showroom 64. Showroom 64 is actually a British store, but they have a store in the West Village and I've had a link to it under the "Puppies & Babies" heading (to the left, at the bottom) forever.

Anyway, I found a cute onesie there and was going to buy it, but then I did a search and found it half price at a place called Renegade Babe ($15 as opposed to $30) so I ended up buying it there. Sorry, Showroom 64, but fifteen dollars is fifteen dollars! Here's the shirt:


It says, "For those about to nap, we salute you" on the front, and "Babies rock!" on the back. Isn't it cute?

Anyway, I just wanted to tell you in case you're looking for a cute baby gift!

Ryan Adams NYC Halloween Show

I'm going! I'm going!

Ryan Adams is playing at the Hammerstein Ballroom on Halloween and I got my tickets this morning. I'm so excited!

← Photo by Annie Leibovitz

Previously: Ryan Adams - Easy Tiger

Separated At Birth, Perez Hilton

I wasn't gonna say anything, but based on this latest pic of Perez...

Left: John Wayne Gacy in his mugshot. Right: Perez Hilton as his long lost brother.

Ha. Meant in good fun...

Cause of the Brooklyn Tornado, Revealed

For those of you who might not have heard, a tornado touched down in the Bay Ridge area of Brooklyn yesterday morning. I received a few emails from people asking if I'm okay, and I just want to let everyone know that I'm fine, thank you for asking. The tornado was about four miles away from me.

While residents of Bay Ridge appear to be shaken up by the twister, word on the street is that they're smiling on the inside, as this is the most excitement their neighborhood has seen since the 70s, when "Saturday Night Fever" was set there.

While no one knows the cause of the tornado, I have a theory, which can best be explained by the following picture:



Tony Manero is pissed.

To John Travolta...





Tony didn't say anything when you jazzercised your way through "Perfect"...









...or embarrassed yourself in "Look Who's Talking" One AND Too.









He bit his tongue when you dressed up as a monkey in "Battlefield Earth"...








...and as a pig in "Wild Hogs." (Wait, what?)






But your most recent stunt has caused him to put his foot down. Enough is enough.

This. Just. Isn't. Acceptable.

While Tony didn't want to resort to literally stirring sh*t up in Bay Ridge, he felt he had no choice. He will not stand by and watch you tarnish his cool image over and over again. Stop now, please. Save Brooklyn.

UPDATE: This post was linked to on Gothamist. Thanks!