Pop Culture

Quick! What is the name of the bar that Tom Cruise and his buddy opened in the movie Cocktail?

DON'T LOOK IT UP ON THE INTERNET AND CHEAT!

I watched The World Series of Pop Culture on VH1 this weekend and I'm SO GOOD at it. I'm going to audition the next time they come around. Those people won $250,000.

I Am Mary Clayton

I haven't been sleeping well lately. Tonight I slept for a couple of hours maybe and now I'm up. Even though I'm really, really tired I can't go back to sleep.

I'm reading Eat, Pray, Love. It is soooooooo good. If you haven't read it, you must run out and buy it now.

Anyway, I'd take my Sonata, but I've been trying not to take it because I don't want to become addicted. I got addicted to Xanax once and it wasn't pretty, but that's a story for another book. Back to the Sonata, I find that the more I take it, the more difficult it becomes to fall asleep without it. Actually... I haven't been sleeping well since I stopped taking it. Maybe this means I already am addicted.

Crap.

I'm a junkie. I am Mary Clayton.

Smith Street Festival - Brooklyn

There was a street fair in my neighborhood today and you'll never guess what was right in front of my apartment:


The world's softest socks!

I've been calling all my friends and family, bragging. The world's softest socks right here in Brooklyn, I still can't believe it...

You know what someone else was selling?


Why, silky lingerie, of course!

Because what better place to buy your PJs than on a dirty city street corner where the drunk and homeless urinate and the rats run wild.

I'm a Really Good Singer

Okay, fine, maybe not... But I can sing this one line in "Big Girls Don't Cry" by Fergie really, really well...

"And I'M gonna MISS you like a CHILD misses their BLANKET but I'VE got to get a MOVE on with MY life!"

I mean, I should be on stage when I sing that line. Seriously.

I'm also really good at "I'm up against the speaker tryin' to take on the music it's like a competition me against the beat I wanna get in the zone... I wanna get in the zone..."

And don't even challenge me on a "You must not know 'bout me, you must not know 'bout me!" And forget about "To the left, to the left..." and that long "Mmmm...." part right after it. I've got fancy wrist movements that are full of attitude to go along with this song, and they are so cool.

Oh! Just thought of another.... I will smoke you on every word of "The Jumpoff" by Lil Kim. If you don't have this song, you must download it now. It's so damn fun. "I got a man in Japan and a dude in Tahiti. Believe me sweetie, I got enough to feed the needy..."

Okay, that's all for my little musical outburst.

A Thought...

I just had a thought... what if Elvis is faking it?

What if he's not really sick, but just playing me like a sucker? I mean, let me explain what it's been like around here the last couple of days.

Me to Elvis...

"I'm glad you're comfy on Mommy's $100 Tempur-Pedic pillow. No, no... don't move. I'll just sleep on the cheap $10 one I got to fill the shams. Don't worry, stay right where you're at."

"What? You want me to pet you for two hours straight? Sure, I've got work to do, but come sit right here, on my lap."

"You say you don't like your cat food? You want some of Mommy's tuna fish sandwich? Well, sure I'm hungry, but here... have the rest."

I mean, I'm actually giving him things to hump, instead of yelling at him for doing it.

He could've been planning this his whole life. He could've been putting change in his pockets every time we went to the vet, knowing that one day, he'd empty them out, and everyone would worry because he lost weight. Maybe his tumor isn't a tumor at all, but some kind of prosthetic he bought off the black market. Maybe when I go to sleep, he sneaks off and meets his other feline friends—who are also all faking it—and they all share a hearty laugh at what suckers we all are. Maybe this is his way of getting back at me for this:


And don't forget this and this.

Just a thought...

How About Them Cubs?

I love baseball.

(I really don't, I just need to post something else so the front page of my blog isn't entirely made up of posts about my cat.)

Elvis' Blood Test

The vet called with the result of Elvis' exam and the blood tests came back perfect. This is good because it means he doesn't have feline hyperthyroidism, but bad because it means that the lump in his neck is a tumor/cyst of some kind. If it's malignant, a blood test won't show that, so they have to take a sample from it and do a biopsy on it. I'm taking him in Tuesday for that.

:(

Elvis Bouncing Back

I am lying in bed right now, sending this from my BlackBerry. A few moments ago, I heard something from across the room, and when I looked to see what it was, I saw Elvis humping a t-shirt that he must've pulled out of the laundry. I know it's kind of weird, but I smiled... I'm proud of him for bouncing back so quickly after being violated at the vet today.

Sent from my BlackBerry wireless handheld.

DUI & Breathalyzers

I'm not trying to give drunk drivers tips on how to get out of it, but I was just reading an article about Nicole Richie and it got me thinking... Can't you refuse to take a breathalyzer?

When I was in college, a guy I knew was pulled over for a possible DUI. He was in law school at the time, so he knew he could refuse to take a breathalyzer and did. I think it resulted in him being automatically arrested and maybe even having his license suspended, but when it came down to court, they didn't have any concrete evidence to convict him, so he was let off. Does anyone know about this?

Re: Nicole Richie... if she didn't take a breathalyzer and the only thing she did was admit to getting high and taking Vicodin... If her attorney finds a way to get her admissions thrown out, then they'd have a harder time convicting her, right?

Comments... Lawyers? Law school students? People with personal experience?

Elvis Update

Hi everyone. I just got back from taking Elvis to the vet for his lump. The vet's name is Dr. Maddox and we've been going to him ever since we moved to Brooklyn, which was almost six years ago. (I can't believe it's been that long.) Anyway, I really like him but he must have written something down in Elvis and/or Beverly's chart about me being an emotional pet owner, because, before he did anything, he asked me to take a breath and calm down. (Yes, I've cried in the vet's office before. I cried when Beverly got spayed, I cried when Elvis had what I called "goopy eye"... I'm a crier, dammit!)

Once I composed myself, he started the exam. The first thing he did was weigh Elvis. He lost one and a half pounds, which is a lot for such a little guy. He now weighs six pounds. After this, he examined his neck and found the lump, which he said was "pretty significant" in size. He then pulled out two syringes, one to take a blood sample and one to take a urine sample, at which point I turned around and faced the wall. I mean, how does that work, using a syringe to take a urine sample? The thought of it makes me cringe.

Although he growled the whole time, Elvis was a very good boy, so Dr. Maddox tried to take a sample from the lump itself, but Elvis wouldn't have it. He escaped from the table, ran around the room and peed everywhere. When we eventually caught him, we put him back on the table but he wouldn't calm down, so Dr. Maddox didn't do it.

I call tomorrow after twelve o'clock to get the results, so we'll go from there.

Dr. Maddox seems to think it might be feline hyperthyroidism. While this is a better diagnosis than cancer, it's still something to worry about. If Elvis has it, he'll either have to be on medication for the rest of his life, or can get something called "radioactive iodine treatment," which is an expensive but permanent treatment. I found out this about it on the internet:

With radioactive iodine therapy, the cat receives a one-time injection of iodine I-131, which concentrates in the thyroid and irradiates and destroys the malfunctioning part of the gland. Healthy thyroid tissue is not damaged, and the risk of hypothyroidism is low. Almost all cats receiving radioactive iodine will return to normal thyroid function within a month or so of treatment. This procedure can be expensive, running approximately $1,200 on average.

If this is the case, I'll probably opt for the iodine treatment if it's totally safe and not taxing on his body. It seems easier than giving him a pill every day for the rest of his life and might actually be cheaper in the long run. ($30/month for pills=$360 a year)

I'll update you tomorrow after I get the results.

Thank you all for your support and keep on praying, please!

UPDATE: I sprinkled catnip all over the sofa to try and make Elvis feel better.

Elvis Has a Lump

Elvis has a lump in his neck the size of a large marble and I'm kind of freaking out. It's right next to his purrrrrr engine. He has the same amount of energy, but seems to be losing weight. He's not big to begin with, only 7-1/2 pounds or so, but he feels bonier when I pet him. He's going to be 12 years old in August.

Anyway, every time he sits on my lap and looks up at me, I cry. I know I'm overreacting because we haven't been to the vet yet, but I can't help but to imagine the worst and I don't know what I'll do if he's sick. He's my lil baby.

We go to the vet Tuesday at 11:30, so please keep him in your prayers. I'll let you know how it goes.

The Sopranos: I Knew It!

I guessed this "Tony Soprano Is Dead" theory right after "The Sopranos" finale ended, and then I told my friend Mark, and then he told his boyfriend David, and then David was all like, "No... that's not what happened," and then I felt stupid for reading too much into the ending because, to be honest, I really don't watch it that closely, so I never told anyone my theory for fear of being ridiculed.

That was a long sentence.

Fans of “The Sopranos” are seizing on clues suggesting the controversial blackout which abruptly ended the TV mob drama meant that Tony Soprano was rubbed out, and HBO said on Thursday they may be on to something.

In the final moments of Sunday’s concluding episode, Tony... sits in a diner with his family munching on onion rings as the 1980s song by rock band Journey, “Don’t Stop Believing,” blares from a juke box.

Tension builds as a suspicious man... eyes Tony from a nearby counter before slipping into a restroom. Then, as Tony looks toward the restaurant’s entrance, the screen abruptly goes blank in mid-scene — with no picture or sound for 10 seconds — until the credits roll silently.

“There are definitely things there that [Chase] intended for people to pick up on,” HBO spokesman Quentin Schaffer told Reuters. The biggest hint, according to a consensus taking shape on the Web, is a scene from an earlier episode in which Tony and his brother-in-law, Bobby Bacala, muse about what it feels like to die.

“At the end, you probably don’t hear anything, everything just goes black,” Bobby says while they sit fishing in a small boat on a lake..."

I mean, shoot... I'm never this insightful when it comes to "The Sopranos," and the one time I am, I keep it to myself. Dammit.

BTW, how good was AJ this season? In that last episode, when he looked at Carmella and was like, "You're so dramatic." It was so good. And when he was like, "We need to stop being so dependent on foreign oil." I just loved him.

BTWA (again), I know I've said this before, but even though he's a big and sloppy, I find Tony Soprano totally sexy. I think it's the power thing. Anyone with me on this?

Things That Bother Me

Things that bother me:

13. People who hold their cell phone in front of their mouths and talk into it like it's a walkie talkie.
    
14. When people do #13 while pacing.

(This is an ongoing list.)

Romance, Sheer Delight, How Sweet

This song just came on my iPod. I know every word.

I just wanted to share with you this little gem from the past. LL Cool J rox.

Creature Comforts

I'm watching a new show on CBS called "Creature Comforts" and it's really, really funny.





From a recent article in the Washington Post...

Take heart, channel surfers. The first bright spot of the hot months arrives... and we've got a bunch of animated animals to thank for it.

Created by the British company responsible for the popular "Wallace & Gromit" movies, "Creature Comforts," an animated half-hour comedy debuting tonight at 8 on CBS, is clever and often hilarious.

The premise? The show's producers record the voices of "real people" throughout the country as they talk about everyday topics such as doctor visits, keeping secrets and the attraction between the sexes. These voices are bestowed upon various animal characters who all bear that familiar Claymationed "Wallace & Gromit" look.

Here's a clip:



The CBS website has tons more video.