Oprah and Obama Tag Team

Yesterday Oprah opened her show by asking the question, "Why is poop brown?"


...and today I just received an email from Barack Obama with the subject line, "What does a movement look like?"


I'm not going to open it.

101 Things To Do With a Pound of Fat

I really wanna go back and steal that hunk of fat. There are so many things I could do with it...

101 Things To Do With a Pound of Fat

1) Stuff your bra



2) Play baseball


Okay, fine—there are two things I could do with it. But more coming...

A Pound of Fat

Has anyone else seen the drugstore display for the new diet pill Alli? The product doesn't come out until tomorrow, but the displays at the Rite Aid in my neighborhood have been up for a week and they are the most disgusting things EVER. A pound of fake, yellowy fat is affixed to them, and it made me wanna barf up my breakfast right there in aisle three and develop a serious case of anorexia. (Which I s'pose would make them effective.)

In case you haven't seen them, I took a picture for you. I tried to remove the fat from the display to show you how big it is, but it was glued down. (You know it'll only be a matter of time, though, before some bully kid pries it loose and throws it at the chubby girl on the playground.)

Anyway, here it is... a pound of fat. Click on it, make it bigger, really get a good look.





Makes you wanna scarf down a box of Bubble Gum Flavored Pop'ems, doesn't it?

One Degree of Prince Harry

I'm once removed from Harry!

NBC News' Matt Lauer interviews Prince William and Prince Harry for "Today" and "Dateline" NBC. The interview will air Monday, June 18.

Matt Lauer & Harry

Matt Lauer & Me!

Which interview do you think he was more excited to do? Hmmm... debt-ridden shopaholic or a couple of princes?

I can't wait until Monday.

Frappr Map

Click below to add yourself to my readers map!

Hello, My Name Is...

I dropped off some clothes at the cleaners this past weekend and didn't look at the ticket until I got home. I'm used to people misspelling my first name, but the lady at the dry cleaners really butchered the entire thing.

It was easier for me to take a picture of the ticket than scan it, so here you go.

Hello, my name is Caryen Bafnik.

Maybe this is only funny to me.

They're Kidding, Right?

Now that I'm back among the living... she's free? This is so wrong.

In a statement, Paris said she learned a lesson. Yes, Paris, we all did. The key to getting out of jail is to cry and play the crazy card.

UPDATE: Lesson amendment... This only works if you're a rich white girl, and even then, it's not 100%.

The Hot Mess That Is Me

I'm recovering from an unfortunate case of food poisoning and just left the house for the first time in two days. I didn't put much thought into my appearance as I'm going to the store, and just realized that I'm covered in cat hair and have vomit in my hair. Nice.

Sent from my BlackBerry wireless handheld.

Things That Bother Me

Things that bother me:

1. Plastic forks
2. Howie Mandel
   
3. The fact that Anna Nicole is still staring at me from TrimSpa bottles at the corner deli
4. The word "quasi"
   
5. People who use the word "quasi"
6. Diet Coke Plus, because getting your vitamins from an artificially-sweetened soda pop is queer
7. That I find myself worrying about the people in the Cingular commercials, like Josh and Abby and that one lady who, after getting flowers from her boyfriend at work, calls her friend and is like, "Everyone says this means he cheated on me," and her friend is like, "No, he didn't cheat on you, don't be silly," but the phone drops out so the first lady doesn't hear this and freaks. The miscommunication leaves me feeling uneasy, and I wanna call these people on a land line and clear everything up.
   
8. ↑Run-on non-sentences, like the first half of #7
   
9. Dust bunnies
10. That the definition of "dust bunny" contains the phrase "skin particles"
11. That Beverly never comes when I call her, yet always appears when the fridge opens
12. When the men I date send me text messages. I'm sorry, are we fifteen? I'm an adult, you're an adult, pick up the phone.

(This is an ongoing list.)

PaloozaHead

This is amazing!

Michelle (one of my MySpace friends) thought of me when she stumbled upon this PaloozaHead thing (Remember Elf?), so she put my head on it and sent it to me. Click the play arrow at the bottom left to watch me dance.

Thank you, Michelle! Click here to watch it with a larger background and make your own.

Sarah Silverman on Paris at the MTV Awards

(Not literally "on" on... That would really be something though, no?)

Reason #4,512 why I love Sarah Silverman.

OMG, it was so rude and distasteful... but so freakin' funny.

UPDATE: I just watched a video of Paris in a car on the way to jail, and I feel kind of bad. She was sitting in the backseat with her mom and they were both wiping away tears. I'm a person who has to learn by making mistakes, like you can't tell me the stove's hot, I need to burn my hand on it to learn. Perhaps she's the same way; there's no doubt in my mind that the girl's sorry for what she did.

But then again, is she sorry only because she's going to jail? Or is she sorry because she realized what she did could have resulted in this? (Warning: link is graphic.) But if she learned a lesson, does the road she took to get there matter?

On another note, while I don't envy her sentence, I'm seething with jealously that she got one of these before me.

Ted

I love taking pictures and took the coolest photo of my friend Ted last weekend. A group of friends were at my friend Cristin's house in Connecticut. It was late, like maybe 11:00 PM or something, and I turned off the flash and told him not to move. Click it to make it bigger.

MSNBC Photoblog

This is so sad. I was looking through pictures on the MSNBC photoblog (I do this all the time; they have some really amazing pics on there) and stumbled upon this one:

(John Moore/Getty Images)

The caption: "Mary McHugh mourns her dead fiance Sgt. James Regan at "Section 60" of the Arlington National Cemetery May 27, 2007. Regan, an American Special Forces soldier, was killed by an IED explosion in Iraq in February of this year, and this was the first time McHugh had visited the grave since the funeral."

Rick Shulman, MSBNC associate multimedia editor, says...

There are hundreds of photos shot every Memorial Day at Arlington National Cemetery, but few have the emotional power and the simplicity of this one. Do you think this picture appropriately honors our war dead? Or does it say something else?

Read what people have to say about this on the MSNBC photoblog.

Who's That Girl?

I'm watching "Who's That Girl?" with Madonna on cable right now. Um... was this seriously a movie?

Ha ha... the sad thing is that I know it was a movie because I watched it like a hundred times when I was thirteen or something. But God... I thought it was so good back then.

It's just terrible. Absolutely terrible. I mean, she and Griffin Dunne are riding around New York in a convertible Rolls Royce, and there's a rare tiger in the back seat, and she has the most irritating, shrilling voice, and...

Omg, it's just terrible.

Yorkie Napping

This is just terrible. Vanessa Williams' Yorkie was stolen.

May 31, 2007 -- It could be nefarious dognapper, or just a hungry coyote.

Either way, Westchester authorities have a mystery on their hands as dogs belonging to the rich and famous-including singer/actress Vanessa Williams-have vanished.

Williams' beloved Yorkie, Enzo, disappeared from her yard in Chappaqua on Monday. Earlier that day, the former Miss America spotted a suspicious man driving around her property, and is convinced her puppy was dognapped...

For those of you who don't know, I have a Yorkie named Beverly. Click here to read a post about her vajayjay.