I just went to a little gift shop down the street and asked the Korean lady who owns it if she had any Twilight stuff. I'm going to see New Moon tonight with my neighbors (dorks) and would totally buy us some "Team Edward" shirts to wear if they had them.
"Toilet stuff, no," she said.
"No, Twilight stuff," I said again, because she doesn't speak or understand English very well.
"Yes," she said, like she knew what I meant. And then she squatted like she was taking a dump. "I say toilet stuff, no!"
So I don't think she understood me?
Nov 20, 2009
Toilet Stuff
Nov 17, 2009
Mosquito
I'm being tormented by a mosquito.
He's been in my apartment for two or three days now.
I saw him once in the bathroom and swatted at him and missed.
And then last night, I was sitting on the sofa and suddenly got three mosquito bites on my arm. And then today I got another on my leg.
So then I started to wonder, What if it's not a mosquito at all? What if I have bugs in my apartment? So I cleaned the entire place from top to bottom. It took me hours. And guess what? No bugs.
So now I'm sitting on a chair (I have to let the upholstery cleaner on the sofa dry), and about two minutes ago, a mosquito landed on my boob.
I swatted and missed.
F*ck.
Nov 16, 2009
Exclusive Book Excerpt
Exclusive excerpt from Rub My Belly (And Then Feed Me Cheese): The Beverly Bosnak Story:
Chapter Two
Bacon is good. Imitation bacon (i.e., Beggin' Strips) is just as good.
Nov 15, 2009
Beverly's Memoirs
Beverly is working on her memoirs.
She's not sure if she should call it I Love Cheese: The Beverly Bosnak Story or Rub My Belly (And Then Feed Me Cheese): The Beverly Bosnak Story.
I asked her if she needed help writing it but she told me to go away, that she needed her privacy.
Despite this, I took a peek at her manuscript when she was napping earlier and found this:
Chapter One
I love cheese. String cheese, American cheese, cottage cheese... nothing sends me to the kitchen faster than cheese. Except bacon.
Clearly it's going to be riveting.
Nov 14, 2009
Elvis
Sometimes Elvis sits and stares at these pictures for hours. I think he's watching me through the reflection. (Which is kind of creepy.)
Look how close he gets.
Cats are so weird.
Nov 11, 2009
Bev Can Do The Worm!
And Elvis does a killer helicopter. (Is that what it's called?)
Send your own ElfYourself eCards
Nov 3, 2009
Happy Tuesday
I found this in a drawer. I tore it out of a magazine some time ago.
The average woman smiles 62 times a day.
A man? Only eight.
Kids laugh around 400 times daily.
Grown-ups, just 15.
Smilers in school yearbooks are more likely to have successful careers and marriages than their poker-faced peers."
Smile and laugh today!
Nov 2, 2009
Whitney
Dad, I'm five and I've NEVER been in a limo."—My friend Corey's five-year-old daughter Whitney, who's apparently been watching too much Hannah Montana
Here's her sweet little face:
Oct 30, 2009
Nora's Halloween Costume
So here's Nora in her Halloween costume. She's Pocahontas.
My sister also bought her a black wig in case she wanted to wear one. Here it is.
Brace yourself.
Isn't it hilarious? She's not wearing it; she doesn't like it.
Halloween Without The Kiddies
I'm not going to my sister's house for Halloween this year because I still have a cough and don't want to get the kiddies sick. (I doubt I'm contagious but it's better to be safe.) I'm so sad that I'm not going to get to see Nora in her Pocahontas costume. (Jack won't wear one. My sister got him a dragon costume and he said, "I'm not a dragon. I'm Jack.") I'm seriously tearing up thinking about them trick-or-treating without me. I miss them. I love them. They are my babies. :(
Oct 22, 2009
Oct 21, 2009
Pretty Weimaraner
I'm going through old pics tonight and I found these that I took of a neighborhood dog.
I love Weimaraners!
Naomi
My friend Naomi! She and Mark are my very best friends.
I love these pictures because they capture her personality so very well.
